Yesterday, my heart was so intent on keeping my eyes focused on God. Standing firm on His promises. Ya know.... STRONG.
Can I be real??? Well, of course I can, because this here is a blog and well... you can read it or not but I can be real if I wanna, so there.
Woke up this morning after crying myself to sleep, see I was convinced that I was the worst mother on the planet, my marriage was destined to go down the crapper, no one cared nor should they and well... I wasn't sure a new day was gonna fix it. I closed my eyes in prayer, thanking God for another day and thanking him for my pillow (something I've made a habit of... pillows are such a luxury). When I pried my eyes open this morning I thought "welp, let's do this". Then I smelled the coffee and the fact my husband made the coffee and OH the day is going to be GOOD. THEN life hits and ya know one disagreement and I'm back in my room. THEN... it hits me. hhhmmmm wasn't I a bit like this last month about this time??? Don't you look at me like the crazy woman I am... if you can't admit your hormones play a part in your actions and decisions then... then.... well, I'm really not sure what to do with you because there's just not enough chocolate on the planet to argue with you. Does it mean there are not legit "problems"? No. It means we in fact have the capability of making those problems the size of TEXAS when in fact they are actually quite normal life problems. See... my intentions to stay focused and strong tend to be swayed by my ever raging female hormones. Yes, I admit it. You should too! It is not an excuse to grab the nearest broom it is a reason to call out to our God who created us and our crazy hormones (yes, that will be among my questions when I reach Heaven's shore) to help us see a little more clearly when in fact we would like to hurt something or someone. I'm slightly older now and it is in fact throwing me through yet another loop. I've fought hormonal imbalance all my life due to endometriosis so I thought I had somewhat of a handle on this thing. Wrong. I in fact do not and I in fact will probably never have a handle on it. I've met these ladies who are all "oh, I don't ever even notice I have hormones, I just don't ever pay attention" Excuse me, let me go get a pan of brownies and knock you on yo head... yes, you do have them and yes you do in fact spew them on those around you, the fact you don't realize it means the others around you suffer MORE! Realize it. Embrace it. Do something about it. Yes, perspective is good, but sometimes it's very hard to keep perspective when you feel as though a volcano may in fact explode from the top of your head at. any. second. Recognizing you are in this state is so important for those around you. Take a step back, breathe deep, do whatever it is you do to center yourself. Now... I joke about eating chocolate when in fact that is NOT the best go to. More sugar will only compound the problem. Shopping will not fix it. Eating pasta will not fix it. I think everyone is so different in how they deal with it but finding that healthy balance of recognizing the problem and seeking a solution is SO important!!!!
The storal of the mory is...
If you feel like the world is ending, you have no friends, your family hates you, the dog despises you, all your plants have died and the house will NEVER EVER EVER BE CLEAN.... take a step back, take a deep breath and yes... maybe have a small piece of divine chocoloate and breathe!
It's. all. going. to. be. ok.
<3
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