Faith like a child (haha ok... that's funny...)

Do you remember when you were a kid? I remember some... not a whole lot for sure. Mostly talking, I've been told that I talked... A LOT!  One thing I don't remember is being worried. Just seemed life went on. Today, I was blessed to spend time with a friend and her kiddos. It was a great reminder of a few things...

Be brave when you fall down. Get back up and be excited about it.

Find the beauty in the little things.

Take time to study God's nature, be amazed.

Swing high!

Don't be afraid.

Protect what can't protect itself.

Drink from the water feature when you're thirsty :)

Don't blink.

When you have the choice, take the long way.

(I had an epic picture of a bridge in the woods that we saw today BUT... technology is not my friend right now... use your imagination)  :)

A little of this, A little of that

After a busy day (most of it with my taxi hat on) Micah and I decided to watch Lilo and Stitch. I do think that is the weirdest movie ever but we like it :)  We had to do the divide and conquer thing tonight. We are down a vehicle and at this point all 4 of us are going in different directions. I literally had to write out who was getting who from where last night because it wasn't making sense when I was telling the boys. 

Looking back on today I see God's hand in so many areas...

God woke me up.

I joke about not being a morning person but I'm grateful every morning He wakes me up and I'm blessed to have a warm cup of coffee to jolt my brain into action. My very sweet, loving, understanding and amazing husband brought me my coffee.

God blessed me with my husband.

He gets up every morning and goes to a job that is not exactly easy and stress free. He loves us unconditionally.  Over 21 yrs of marriage and I'm still learning. He is the love of my life!!!

God gave me 2 amazing boys! 

I adore them and all their messes!  ok... maybe not all their literal clothes messes but I love THEM!!!!  They are 100% boys! With that comes challenges of course but... I'm full out mom and with that comes challenges. We do life together and I'm blessed beyond measure!!!!   They worked with me today to get everyone where we needed to be and we did it!  

God gave us food.

Micah and I sat and ate 2 meals together today. As they get older and I see them less and less, these times become extremely special. We may or may not have danced in Moe's :)  

Zeus.

Ya know, I never considered myself a dog person but this dog... NATE'S dog... he's a MESS!  He is so content to just be with us. We were laying here watching the movie and he crawled up on his bed (the ottoman) and got as close as he could to me. He's been right there the whole movie.  He just sighs with contentment haha  Wow! I can learn from him... just be still, enjoy the company and sigh with relief :)  

God blessed me with friends.

A friend and I went for a walk today and it was so nice to catch up and soak in some sunshine. We both have been vitamin D deficient the last few days. Actually, this week God has sent a few friends my way and it's been such a timely encouragement!!! He knows our needs!!!  

I love my little God-given, messed, up, crazy, awesome and wonderful family!  

I'm sitting here snuggled up to the dog (because my hubby is on his way home from karate) and I'm listening to Micah play the guitar. One of my favorite things to do!  

Lots of little God moments spread throughout the day. 

I'm thankful.

He makes all things beautiful!!!!!

I thought you were...

Have you ever met someone and then after getting to know them better they say something like, "When I first met you I thought you were..."? Now, I'm not sure if this is good or bad but I seem to have this happen more times than not. I've gotten "I thought you were stuck up", "I thought you were one of THOSE people", "I thought you were a flirt", "I thought you were a flake".  I guess this is meant to make me feel better????? See, it is most definitely my goal in life to make the worst first impression EVER LOL  Apparently this is one area I'm succeeding in. I am admittedly not the best at relationships but I LOVE people. I'm one of those who has no relational skills but calls themselves a people person :)  Yep, I've had someone say "at first, I thought you were annoying"  as to say "now, you're just slightly annoying"???  hhhmmm  Does everyone do this??? No, just me??? well... ok then :)  At first this made me self-conscious and I tried to back off when meeting someone.... oh, who am I kidding... I've never been able to back off. This is the problem... I can't handle people feeling not liked, alone, awkward... etc.  So what do I do, I place myself in that terribly awkward position of well... being the weird one :)   Can I give some non solicited advice?  well, I'm gonna give it anyway...  don't do this!!!!  Don't set people up... give people a chance before you label them.  If you get to know them passed the "hey, how's it going" stage then by all means... label away :)

Now, if you meet me and assume I'm not a morning person then you are oh so correct my friend :)

Rain boots, blue and firetrucks

There have been times when I've been known to say "why do we even have special days?".  Special days are amazing until tragedy happens and then sometimes it can become a time of dread.  Birthdays and holidays are meant to be spent with family so when we no longer have them our hearts seem to ache even more on these special days.

Today is little Micah's birthday. He would be turning 7 yrs old today. Little Micah went to heaven last year in a car accident. The Brown family was forever changed. Even though I don't get to see them very much I pray for them every day. On days like today, I pray for them even more!  I can't begin to understand what they are going through but I know we have a big God with big arms to hold us all in our time of deepest despair. They hold on to hope and encourage those around them to do the same.

Yesterday, we were walking a neighborhood yard sale, I had been praying for the Brown's as they celebrated little Micah's life.  We met a family and were talking to them, I saw a sweet little pair of rain boots. Little Micah loved rain boots and wore them all the time. I bought the little boots and held them tightly as we walked around the neighborhood. Today, I wore my rain boots and a blue shirt. Micah's favorite color was blue. So many people around the world pray for the Brown's every day!!!! Hang on to hope!!!

Hebrews 6:19 "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure"

Fall

It's been a full but lovely fall day.  My heart is once again pulled in many different emotional directions. God is so good to still my heart and give me peace! Tonight, I was blessed to record some practice tracks with Micah. Singing soothes my soul. Listening to Micah play the guitar is such a joy. Putting them together blesses my heart and fills my momma cup full on up!!!!

As I was contemplating the day, my mind began to think of all the things I love about fall. We have the most beautiful trees in our yard.  They literally make me smile. I just stare at them and smile! God's creation is so amazing!!! One season ending, another beginning.  I love fall!!!!

Pumpkins on front porches.

Leaves falling in the cool air.

Long drives with no destination.

Baking in a warm kitchen while watching the dreary day go by.

Sipping coffee and watching the autumn colored leaves fall.

Scarves and boots (that are apparently made for walking).

Curling up with a blanket and hot tea.

Hot chocolate.

Chili and all things crockpot.

Apple crisp.

Cotton fields. I LOVE cotton fields!!!!!

Long walks.

When I was younger we went to six flags quite a bit. They had the best apple cider. I remember being cold and drinking a warm apple cider, the smell was amazing! It's amazing to me the few things I do remember are usually attached to smells :)  Happy Fall Y'all!

Maybe tomorrow...

After 3 attempts of writing, I've decided to try again tomorrow.

I've had a headache for a few days and it's making it difficult to think clearly (not like I think clearly without a headache haha)

Tomorrow is a new day!

Redeemed

Some days blogging just comes out, some days it's quite a struggle. I find it easier to blog about a specific event vs just "life".  Let me give an "event" - I won a cd (along with MANY other ladies) at a ladies meeting tonight. They told us to go up front to get our prize but I had just opened my chocolate so... I took my chocolate with me because well, one doesn't leave chocolate behind. I get almost up there and I dropped a big chunk of my chocolate, what to do, what to do???  Even though I seriously wanted to use the 5 second rule, I did not. I politely placed it in a napkin and threw it away. So sad :(  I don't cry over spilt milk but I most definitely cry over wasted chocolate ha

Tonight I had the blessing of going to a ladies meeting with a friend. This was no ordinary meeting... as a matter of fact, I don't think I've been to one quite like it. These ladies were real with their stuff/issues/baggage.  We all have a story and most of the time it's quite messy. It's so easy just to assume that we are the only ones who are messed up and we just keep it to ourselves.  Once you realize the reality of life and when you see someone breathing you can guarantee they have stuff/issues/baggage. I was so encouraged and blessed by their testimonies tonight. They are in different stages of their journey but the resounding song was "don't go it alone", "don't be afraid to ask for help".  

God is in the redeeming business!

Redeem - to gain or regain possession in exchange for payment

He has paid the price! We can live victoriously!!!  Free from the chains that once bound us!!!  

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

ok, my shout'n party is over and I'm going to BED! Praise God for a new day, I'm ready for fresh new mercies and some amazing COFFEE!!!!  ooohhh and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!  *happy dance*

A forever day

Today was a full day to say the least. As a matter of fact, I caught myself thinking that this morning was yesterday. There were many moments that I tried to let soak in and place in my ever forgetful memory bank. Moments of frustration followed closely with shear joy followed by some disappointment followed by sunny happiness!

What's your passion? Everyone has one, what's yours? What do you dream about? What is it you want to do/be when you grow up? I'm not sure I can answer that... I so admire people who can though. For me, I have lots of interest. Today, on a trip to one of my favorite places in the world, we met a lady with a PASSION! We had already seen a beautiful wedding, drank coffee while sitting on the dock, talked to a couple of fishermen, helped an older gentleman get his fishing line untangled. Then... on our walk back we met a lady meandering along the path while she lovingly shuffled her rosary beads from hand to hand. I said "are you enjoying this beautiful day?"  she said "this is a forever day, I wish it would last forever". As we talked with her, it didn't take her long to share her passion for saving the unborn. She bubbled with her desire to save these babies. She began to give us some history stories mixed in with some stories of her own life. She was so encouraging to me... how dare I EVER say "I'm too old".  

It was such a joy to chat with her a bit... oh... her name - Joy. 

Oh, interesting info - I was with my friend Joy :)

I see what you did there God... thank you!!!!!  

*** crickets ***

My tank is empty.

I got nuth'n.

I'm sitting at an intersection where every emotion meets up and they are all having this lively conversation trying to do decide whose turn it is.

Not sure who is going to win yet so... I'll get back with ya...

Tradition

Do you have traditions? Everyone has individual traditions, family traditions, holiday traditions. I think it's a way for us to remember, to connect our memories and our emotions. We have this "remember when..." moment and we connect, we cry... at least I cry :)  My youngest man-child just so happened to pick cinnamon rolls to be his birthday breakfast tradition.  Guess what I was doing at 6:30 this morning?  Drinking coffee of course because I was about to make cinnamon rolls haha.  We had some potatoes left over from yesterday's yummy lunch so I scrambled some eggs and made a breakfast skillet. Breakfast is definitely the way to his heart. He LOVES breakfast!

After our yummy breakfast, Nate had school then a trip to the gym, home for b-day cake #2 and a birthday trip to guitar center. Once again I soaked it all in! Another birthday, another chance to celebrate life!


We finished the day by having dinner at Newks.  Micah had to work so it was just the three of us. All in all a great day of celebration!

Now... no. more. cake. My body does NOT do well with sugar/yeast/gluten and I have WAY overdone it the last few days. I'm officially on cleanse mode!!!

Ps. 145:3-5 "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts. I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, and of thy wondrous works."

Oh what a difference 17 yrs can make

What were you doing 17 yrs ago? Me, I was trying to figure out how in the world we were going to take care of TWO little rambunctious boys.  Trying to sleep but not being able to because I was so anxious and HUGE! I spent a big majority of my pregnancy sick, the last 3 months I was on bed rest. In and out of the hospital 7 times. It was quite a stressful time. In all that... I was so excited to get this baby boy HERE and to see who he looked like. What will his personality be?

When I was pregnant with Micah, we lived in Jeff's parent's place. This little step stool was calling out to be painted. Of course the theme of the decade was "Noah's Ark". I painted this "two by two" never dreaming I would have two boys within the next 2 yrs. What a blessing God has given me. Tears? Yes. Pain? Yes. Stress? Yes. All of the love, laughter, happiness and all around awesomeness outweighs any heartache. I couldn't understand how I could love another child as much as I did Micah. It was evident that many others had done this but I just couldn't wrap my brain around it.  I'm so thankful God grants us an abundance of love... it multiplies for our children!!!

I still have no clue how to be a mom but one thing I tell my boys all the time is "I'm here!". Good, bad, ugly... I'm here!  Happy Birthday Eve Tator!!!!!

God, it's Yours... Again

Just pretend it's yesterday....

We had the typical day yesterday, ya know... the one that comes before a big storm?  Even when you know a storm is actually going to be good, it will produce rain, cooler temps, beautiful fresh new air, there is still prep to do. If you don't prep then you will have trash everywhere, broken patio umbrella... etc...  We are getting ready for our youngest man-child's 17th b-day party. Yes, it's fun and yes, I thoroughly enjoy it. There's a bit of chaos with any kind of prep. Actually, I prefer big events because it makes me get things done that I normally don't put priority. This last week I set out to do a few projects that were finished up yesterday, thankfully. Then there's the yard prep, the detail cleaning, the moving of stuff.... it's all good stuff but naturally, it brings a level of exhaustion.   As I've learned not to get stressed with things like this because they always turn out fine, I do tend to think too much haha. As I was thinking, I realized... I think too much :)  There's a Lauren Daigle song "Once and for All".  Music is my souls emotion. Music speaks what mere words cannot.

God I give You all I can today
These scattered ashes that I hid away
I lay them all at Your feet

From the corners of my deepest shame
The empty places where I've worn Your name
Show me the love I say I believe

Oh Help me to lay it down
Oh Lord I lay it down

It seems each time I lay something down, I want to pick it back up. Why? I mean, I know it's much lighter without it, I know what I "should" do... oh Paul, how you speak my language.  

Oh let this be where I die
My Lord with thee crucified
Be lifted high as my Kindom's fall
Once and for all

Don't get discouraged if you once again picked up a burden or habit that you've laid down so many times. Do it again... start fresh!  Give it to God, Once and for All!!!!  He's worthy!!!!!

Making memories

You know those memories you want to place in a bottle, put a lid on it and then take it out whenever life feels too hard and overwhelming?  Well, yes I do realize we have this newfangled thing called "recording" but I mean a memory that can't be recorded. One that means so much you're not sure a camera could capture the meaning.

Tonight was a night when a concert was not just a concert. A drive was more than a drive. Tea at his new place of employment was more than just "tea". We made memories... our lives have changed quite a bit over the past year. As I've found our time together is less, I've actually realized... it's more. It's more on purpose, it's more special, it's with the intent of enjoyment.  I'm learning more and more what my mom feels like. How she felt when I flew the coupe without a second thought. How much time means to her even though I'm grown and have kids of my own. It's love. Love that can't be explained with any amount of words. When you love someone, time with them is so precious!

Micah and I had a great opportunity to go to a local concert this evening. It was just a guy and his guitar. Trust me... nothing else was needed. He was an amazing musician!  When I saw he was going to be in town, I had not heard of him so I looked up some of his music and immediately knew that Micah would love to hear him. This is not our normal type of venue but we took a chance and we are so glad we did! We thoroughly enjoyed listening to him. Not sure I can put my finger on his style... folk/blues/old country/80's... awesome is what it was. 

Lately, I've struggled to remember things... short and long term. Pretty sure it's a combo of getting older/stress/getting older but... we won't go there.  I realize what a treasure memories are. It's a mystery to me the way God has created our intricate brains. So for this moment, as I lay my head down, I will hold on to precious life God has blessed me with! I'm so grateful for a wonderful evening making memories!!!

You're committed

Hubs "wow, you're committed! why red?"
Me "well, I've always wanted a red wall"
Hubs "ok then, you have your red wall"

Not sure why I've wanted a red wall... I can take a few guesses.
Red was a no no growing up.
Red symbolizes "fun" to me.
Red is happy.
Red makes me smile.

It matches my $15 desk turned buffet that I absolutely love!
And... why not?

Yes, it may be slightly committed but... life is short. Why not commit? I don't consider myself a decorator but I like to have fun and make things homey if I can. I haven't always had the opportunity. Paint is cheap... this wall cost $3.  I did add the chalk board since I can't hang a shelf or anything that would get in the way of the doors opening. My mawmaw's cornucopia is just about too thick. Jeff did his "fix it" thing and glued it back together once again.

My philosophy is if it's cheap (or free... free is good), makes you smile and the people you live with don't HATE it... then go for it!!!!  My people just happen to be boys who are VERY easy going when it comes to decorating stuff. I used to say they didn't care but since we have lived here and I've done a few different things I've heard them say "I really like this" and "I like our house". I've been to different places around the world and every home is unique. Some have the means to decorate, and some don't. When I look at my humble home... I'm so blessed. I feel spoiled to make these little "fun" changes.  This is the first color change I've made in the house (besides the boys room which was an add-on).  There's still a couple of little things I'm going to do in the kitchen.
Overall, I'm very happy with the way it turned out.

To end this fine Thursday evening, I'd like to share a quote from a devotional book a friend gave me.
"Most people plot and plan themselves into mediocrity, while now and again somebody forgets himself into greatness." E. Stanley Jones

Coffee is made. Timer is on. Tomorrow is Friday.

at least that's over with

It was bound to happen at some point, I skipped a day. As I was laying in my comfy cozy bed about 11 last night, I realized I had not blogged. Other times I've realized this, I've gotten up and done it. Last night, not so much...  I was pretty sure at some point I would miss a day.  Now that I have, I will have to be more determined to keep going. It's the whole "oh, I already skipped one day... another won't matter" mentality that I will no doubt fight.

Last night I tried a new recipe. Sausage and lentil soup. It was more like a stew, what we call a stoup. We ate it over rice. Lentils are a great little nutritional meal and they are very inexpensive. In the past I have made them with beef tips, chicken or just by themselves with some seasoning. Over rice they are very filling and yummy!  Here's the link for the recipe. It was super easy.

http://www.acupofmascarpone.com/2013/02/lentil-and-sausage-soup.html

There are so many online options for yummy food now. I did find this one on pinterest. It's easy to adapt to your taste.  Enjoy!

Just keep'n it real...

Most of you know that God has a sense of humor. If you don't... lemme just tell ya. He does.

Yesterday, my heart was so intent on keeping my eyes focused on God. Standing firm on His promises.  Ya know.... STRONG.

Can I be real??? Well, of course I can, because this here is a blog and well... you can read it or not but I can be real if I wanna, so there.

Woke up this morning after crying myself to sleep, see I was convinced that I was the worst mother on the planet, my marriage was destined to go down the crapper, no one cared nor should they and well... I wasn't sure a new day was gonna fix it. I closed my eyes in prayer, thanking God for another day and thanking him for my pillow (something I've made a habit of... pillows are such a luxury).  When I pried my eyes open this morning I thought "welp, let's do this". Then I smelled the coffee and the fact my husband made the coffee and OH the day is going to be GOOD. THEN life hits and ya know one disagreement and I'm back in my room. THEN... it hits me. hhhmmmm wasn't I a bit like this last month about this time???  Don't you look at me like the crazy woman I am... if you can't admit your hormones play a part in your actions and decisions then... then.... well, I'm really not sure what to do with you because there's just not enough chocolate on the planet to argue with you.   Does it mean there are not legit "problems"?  No. It means we in fact have the capability of making those problems the size of TEXAS when in fact they are actually quite normal life problems. See... my intentions to stay focused and strong tend to be swayed by my ever raging female hormones. Yes, I admit it. You should too! It is not an excuse to grab the nearest broom it is a reason to call out to our God who created us and our crazy hormones (yes, that will be among my questions when I reach Heaven's shore) to help us see a little more clearly when in fact we would like to hurt something or someone.  I'm slightly older now and it is in fact throwing me through yet another loop. I've fought hormonal imbalance all my life due to endometriosis so I thought I had somewhat of a handle on this thing. Wrong. I in fact do not and I in fact will probably never have a handle on it. I've met these ladies who are all "oh, I don't ever even notice I have hormones, I just don't ever pay attention"  Excuse me, let me go get a pan of brownies and knock you on yo head... yes, you do have them and yes you do in fact spew them on those around you, the fact you don't realize it means the others around you suffer MORE!  Realize it. Embrace it.  Do something about it.  Yes, perspective is good, but sometimes it's very hard to keep perspective when you feel as though a volcano may in fact explode from the top of your head at. any. second.  Recognizing you are in this state is so important for those around you. Take a step back, breathe deep, do whatever it is you do to center yourself.  Now... I joke about eating chocolate when in fact that is NOT the best go to. More sugar will only compound the problem. Shopping will not fix it. Eating pasta will not fix it. I think everyone is so different in how they deal with it but finding that healthy balance of recognizing the problem and seeking a solution is SO important!!!!

The storal of the mory is...

If you feel like the world is ending, you have no friends, your family hates you, the dog despises you, all your plants have died and the house will NEVER EVER EVER BE CLEAN.... take a step back, take a deep breath and yes... maybe have a small piece of divine chocoloate and breathe!

It's. all. going. to. be. ok.  
<3

Clearly out of focus

When I was little I loved the Highlights Magazine. My favorite thing was to find the pages with the hidden objects. I was pretty good at it if I do say so myself :)  There was always that one object that was a tough one. Sometimes I would have to leave the page for a while and then come back.  When I would find it there would be an exclamation "I LOOKED RIGHT AT IT A HUNDRED TIMES". My lack of focus for that particular object kept me from seeing it. Other things were clearly in better view and focus, they took over.

Today, God reminded me how easy it is to lose focus. We are to keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We are to stand strong and firm. Follow Him at any cost. Then occasionally.... something else becomes clearer, we see it so clearly and we began to focus on it to the point we lose focus of the very think our heart desires... our souls are passionate for - to see God exalted, His name glorified in whatever way He sees fit. But, ya know... this house, it needs fixing and the car... it needs fixing and the kids... they need clothes and oh, I could really use a vacation. Here's where my eyes go way to often - well they......

Oh dear Lord keep my eyes on YOU, not THEM! THEY are not my focus. Sharing your love to the broken, feeding the hungry, loving the unlovable, praying, trusting and KNOWING that YOU are worth all of my praise!!!!

This morning we had a beautiful time of worship, focusing on the intricate details of creation... oh the wonder of it all. We closed service with the song "How Great Thou Art". How I long for HIM to be my focus. The struggle is real of living this life and being IN this society/world but keeping my eyes on the Creator!!! He is worthy!!!  In the midst of hurt, pain and confusion not only do I desire to keep clearly focused on Jesus, I want to continually point others to Him!

Nehemiah 9:6 "You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you."

He deserves our praise. He is worthy of our trust. He is faithful. He is all we need.

Short N Sweet

Let me just get right to the point.

Loved seeing this new day roll in.

My love made coffee again this morning.

My baking station is still there.

Parenting is hard.

Celebrating life is fun.

God is in control - not me. Praise the Lord for that!!!!!

Sometimes I say yes to friends and then I question... what have I agreed to????!!!????? (I may have agreed to start back taking karate... maybe...) Imma be a momma ninjette :)

I saw this today... it just fits!

My hat got bigger

Today was a great day in more ways than one. Spent some time with my mom and my sister. Even though it was in a waiting room I still enjoyed hanging out with them. I came home with the intentions of finalizing plans to build a baking station. Not only did we finalize plans but we went to Lowe's, bought the stuff AND built it! I feel like my organizing hat just grew 2 sizes. I'm so in love with this hat I feel quite guilty... ok, maybe not haha We are so blessed with this house, I love figuring out the best ways to use our space. We are so grateful to have a place to figure out :)

Over the years we've lived in a few different places (um... like 14...) and most of those we rented. Of course there were limitations to what we could do. Even though I'm not much of a decorator, I do like organization which often fuels some decorating. Something I've observed in our travels. Functionality can be decorative. I've tried to decorate our sweet little house with either some that has function or something that is sentimental. We still have too much stuff even with all the constant getting rid of things haha. Keep moving forward...

Switching gears a little... I love to doodle/draw. This morning I pulled out a sketch book that I had some goals, scriptures, encouragements written in and came across this picture. Yesterday was a rough day emotionally. One thing my mom has always said "one day at a time" and when my boys were small we started adding "tomorrow is a new day". I hold on to that! No matter what the day brings, the sun will indeed come up tomorrow (even if it's cloudy and you can't see the sun... it's still there). One of my favorite verses Lamentations 3:23. His mercies are new EVERY day!!!

The sun was AMAZING today!!!!!

A Letter to Randy Travis

Hi Randy, you don't know me but I feel like I know you. I got a call from your biggest fan today. She has loved you for as long as I can remember. She has all of your albums, more of your shirts than I can count. She's been to every concert she could go to. She has to have assistance because she has Cerebral Palsy. She loves with all her heart, it's all she knows to do. When I talk to her on the phone she always gives me an update on your progress. When you have had less than ideal moments in your life, she says in her slow drawn out loving way "I hope he don't do that again". I wish you could hear her voice... she loves big! Her dad died when she was 12. Her mom passed away 6 years ago. Her grandmothers and aunts who helped raise her have all passed away. She has an amazing sister and brother and they make sure she is loved and cared for. Me... I just wish I could give her more hugs. I love her with all my heart and... I wish life was simpler so I could see her more, spend more time with her. When I go pick her up she always has her Randy CDs with her. When we would make multiple trips to visit her mom in the hospital she would play your music non-stop. I mean... I love you and all but after a while I'm ready for something different :) I never say so though... to her, you hung the moon. Even with the mistakes you've made... she doesn't care, she loves you! I know even with all the fame you have, there are times you feel lonely and unloved. Please know that my cousin Cathy loves you with everything in her and she is praying you make a full recovery and come in concert somewhere close by. Trust me, if you do... we'll be there. Even though the last concert I took her to we were in a hurry to go to the bathroom so she could get back to the seat so I was speed walking to the bathroom, I hit a bump with her walker and down we both went. I felt so bad and was so worried. I wanted to take her home but she wouldn't have it... she HAD to go back and see the rest of the concert. There will never be a more devoted fan. When you feel discouraged, please know, Cathy is cheering for you!!! She'll let me know when you are singing again :)

I will tell of His wonder!!!

Today, I had a perfectly legit rant. One that I could back up with facts. I had it all written out in my head... and it was good.

But God.

Met with a friend for some prayer time today. After she half died from coughing we moved the praying outside to get some fresh air. Thank you Jesus for this AMAZING day!!! Have you ever sat outside and just soaked in God's beautiful sun, admired the trees, laughed at the squirrels, listened to the birds beautiful songs? I was in awe! I soaked in the sun streaming through the tall trees! As we prayed, we lost track of time and my heart was at peace! I lost all need to rant. To be honest... I can't remember what my rant was about. With all the trials and struggles of this life, it's good to just stop. Breathe. Soak in His presence! We prayed and worshiped God. There are times when I feel the train has just derailed and run'n amuck down a big hill.

But God.

God in his grace and mercy says "Here, come sit with me. Visit with me. I want to spend time with you. I want to set you back on track".

A while back God gave me this verse. Jeff and I were in Hobby Lobby and saw it was 50% off. We have it hanging in our hallway. It seems daily I try to fight battles that aren't mine to fight. Today, God reminded me... be still!

The beauty in the middle of the road

Earlier today I went to pick up my son from work. As I drove in the parking lot I saw a girl in a wheel chair... in the middle of the road. There was a slight slope so I thought she might be stuck, but... there was no one else in sight. The thought did cross my mind "how did she get there?". I park the car and go over to her. I said "are you stuck?" She answered quite muddled "no, no, get'n a rose". I could barely understand her but I look over and there's a beautiful rose bush. I said "oh, you want a rose?". "yeah" she says "for my momma". I'm thinking, ok, where's mom? I asked her where her mom was and she said she was inside, all the while mumbling "I wanna get the rose, get the rose for my mom". I did get her to the side of the road at least but I was having trouble getting the rose. I'm sure that wasn't "right" to steal a rose from their bush but um... I wasn't thinking about that at the moment. Her mom suddenly came out and started spout'n off "I told you to stay over there, what are you doing? You were NOT supposed to move, what are you doing?" The girl calmly said multiple times "get'n a rose, I wanna get a rose for you". The mom had her hands full so she starts saying "come on get in the van, what are you doing?". I started pushing the girl back across the road (I tried and tried to pinch a rose off but I couldn't get it off... stubborn little thorny boogers). At this point her mom begins to holler "PICK UP YOUR FEET, you remember when you went fall'n on your head cause you wouldn't pick your feet up" So.... I slowed down a bit thinking "OH MY WORD she's gonna fall on her face". Oh ha, forgot one interesting tidbit, the girl had a cigarette and she was not "aware" enough to flick the ashes so they were all over here. How she wasn't burnt or on fire I have no idea. We did make it over to the van very slowly and carefully, and yes she drug her feet the whole way :) She kept saying "I was get'n rose, for you momma". All the time the mom was nowhere near interested in the fact her daughter was trying to get a rose for her. I did find out she had just had surgery, I had noticed her hospital bracelet but I didn't ask about it of course. I politely excused myself while hearing the girl say "I was get'n a rose for you".

At first it would be easy to get upset at this mom. How could she not see that her daughter was simply trying to do something nice for her? Why would she not appreciate the effort (trust me, it was an effort for her to wiggle that wheelchair to the middle of the road). The daughter's eyes were so fixed on this rose. She was determined! Then, I had to stop and think... what if I had a special needs child who just had surgery. This lady was obviously in this by herself. She was trying to get food while letting her daughter smoke (yeah... I know... all kinds of questions there but um.....) outside of the van. Regardless of the circumstances that led up to where she was, she was obviously a bit frazzled. I began to pray for her. I pray that God will meet her where she's at. That He will allow her at some point to stop and smell the roses. Maybe when things are a bit less hectic :)

On a personal level I begin to pray "God, please let me hear my boys hearts? I mean truly hear and feel them." So many times a disobedience or an "obvious" stupid decision makes me completely miss a precious moment. I love them dearly and I know they love me, sometimes their loving actions are in the midst of some messy life stuff. I want to see this love, feel this love, appreciate this love... why? Because I want them to know THEY are loved!!!!! They are precious! I don't want my need to discipline, teach, guide... er... control (ouch) get in the way of a precious God-given moment.

A reminder to always keep my eyes up - because um... that would have been totally uncool to hit a girl in a wheelchair... just say'n....

What would this hat look like???

Organizing. I'm not sure what kind of hat this would look like but it would be AWESOME! I'm a fan of organization although the process is sometimes a bit stressful, I always enjoy the outcome. Saturday we began an overhaul of organizing in the spare room. I decided to continue organizing and pull my winter stuff out. Of course I did... it was nice and warm today. I pulled every bit of clothing that I own out and stacked them all in their separate categories. I don't consider myself a clothes person, I'm not a fan of shopping and if asked I would probably say I'm pretty simple when it comes to clothing. After today I have to reconsider that answer. It looked like a thrift store had thrown up in my room. This was not my plan for today. My plan was to take Nate to chemistry/geometry, get my menu written out and go get groceries. Even after all these years... I attempt to make plans. Here was the problem, I got it all pulled out and got a little discouraged but I really had to do something because well... I couldn't walk in my room. After pulling all of my winter things out of the container (yay boots!) I placed all of my summer things in the container that will go up in the attic. Clothing I didn't wear (or didn't fit... but we won't go there...) went in the donate bag. It started shaping up a bit to where I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. My mom txted and asked if I wanted to walk because of course since I was putting my summer things up... it's stink'n hot outside. Mom was kind enough to come over here so that gave me time to get things almost done. I took a break and we walked probably a little over 3 miles. We didn't keep track but it was right under an hour. *rabbit trail* I love Mondays for this fact, my mom and I try to have coffee or walk every Monday. It makes Mondays amazing!!!! Ok... back on track! NOW... I get to go get groceries :) Get everything home and my awesome other half decides he and Micah should grill the pork chops, um YES! We set out cooking an amazing meal - grilled pork chops, herb potatoes, green beans and veg medley. We were missing the youngest of team thomas but he came in shortly after we ate.

THEN.... I finished putting my things away and now I'm happy to say I have less stuff and I'm more organized and it feels GREAT! It really made me think "why is this so gratifying?". I think it's a control thing to be honest. It's a situation in life that I can control. So much is uncontrollable and out of my hands. Organizing seems to simplify life for me. I breathe better. I would like to say my whole house is clean and organized... um, nope. Strangely enough, I'm ok with that. Would I like for it to be? Oh yes, I think it would be awesome but it's an unattainable expectation and I've learned I can't place my happiness on cleanliness and organization. Trust me my friends... it is so very tempting for me. I do have to remind myself quite often "it's ok... it's just stuff". But for tonight, most of my "stuff" is organized :)

I've waited all day for this

This morning was in fact a true Sunday morning. I love Sundays even though I know they come with a range of challenges and emotions. It is always worth it! This morning was no different. In my quiet time I thought "this is awesome, a blog thought before 9am". Then we head to church and God began to move in my heart and I thought "well, I just thought I knew what I was writing on...". Once again after church we had an amazing baptism service and I thought "wow, that's it!". Nope. Changed hats again in mid day and I was certain the hat and topic I was to blog about. The moral of this story... I'm not even going to try tomorrow... I'm just going to wait until 11pm and then write whatever is at hand.

Lemme explain... no, it is too much, lemme sum up.

There is a part of me who wants to be blunt and real about the tears that were shed today, the emotions felt of being a parent and friend. There's another part of me who is counting her blessings and truly doesn't want to come across as complaining. I'm in a "transition" stage which quite a few of my friends are familiar with. My kids need less and less of me... I know they will always "need" me... you know what I mean. Sometimes it becomes lonely. It's something I've been preparing for and have tried to learn from those who have walked this road ahead of me but let me just say... I'm not fairing so well. Through all of the ups and downs today, I cried, laughed and prayed quite a bit. God is faithful! My Jeffrey says "what can I do?". My answer "can tomorrow come a little faster?". You see, I know in the grand scheme of things this is a blimp, a blink, a smidgen of time but right now, my momma heart feels the apron strings untying and flapping aimlessly in the wind. Well... ya know what, I think I'll just go fly a kite in the wind, I mean... I like kites

That's it... my 5 yr old hat is on my head and I'm proud of my purple and orange polka dots :)

dia tres

A day in the life of....

Many hats were worn today and as I would like to just focus on one, I can't. Ya see... I'm tired and a bit loopy. When I get tired I get slap happy and I tend to laugh at cheesy songs sung by my husband that make no sense to me. I also find it HILARIOUS that I snore... I SNORE! He was going to go sleep in the guest room because I SNORE. This is so funny to me I was laughing tears. It wasn't just the way he said it as we were meandering down the hall as he was half carrying me because... did I mention I'm tired? It was the fact that for over 20 yrs now I've listened to him SNORE. I find this slightly ironic and although I did apologize, somewhere deep inside I'm saying "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".

This morning my love had our coffee ready so I could get rid of this headache (hello fall). We decided today was going to be "let's find the spare room" day which required my maid and secretary hats. What is it about spare rooms that just collect "stuff" and it gets so very unorganized to the point the cat is very hesitant to go in there. Happy to say we accomplished our goal in getting rid of said "stuff". It's a work in progress but forward motion was made.

This evening Nate and I were blessed to go to a fall play my sister's niece was in which required my taxi driver hat. Time with my boy is precious to me!!! Even time spent saying absolutely nothing which... well, my youngest is a pro at but... I'm ok with that <3 Praise the Lord for protection as our car apparently hydroplaned when we were on a bridged. It scared me a bit and I heard Nate say "how bout we don't die today". Yeah... sounds good son, I'll just control this uncontrollable car :) Thankfully we stayed ON the road!!!! Saturdays I often get to wear my wife hat which I adore! Being Jeff's wife is my favorite!!! He was happy the Gators won. I'm not a football girl but I'm happy he's happy :) Here's a picture of my friends Bertha and Harold. My mother-in-love bought them for me last year (sad, she had to BUY me friends hahaha... um... yeah, I'm tired). Occasionally I put on a decorator's hat. Honestly, that one stays pretty dusty.....

Day 2....

First, let me just say that it feels very strange to be blogging 2 days in a row. I have really had to dig deep for this and... um... it's only DAY TWO! Houston, we have a problem. When I said I would do this I thought, surely I can find a topic that will allow me to connect and spew out something blog worthy... nope. I'm doing it anyway though haha I'll throw out some different things I've been thinking about...
Homeschooling
Parenting
Marriage
Missions
Coffee
Friendships
God's provision/guidance
Family

THEN... it hit me... just do all of the above, well, maybe not ALL of the above but a conglomeration (confession, I had to look up how to spell that) of at least some of them.

I'm going to call it something like "the many hats of a mad momma" no... that doesn't sound right. "mom's many hats", "what hat is mom wearing?" "where's mom's hats?" I don't know what to call it. Imma just go for it and I'll figure out a name for it later...

Hat #1
Chef
I do like this hat. It would be great to have a closet of hats that I could just go pick one up and throw it on. My boys would LOVE that ha. Cooking is one of the many things I love to do. I get pooped out though and then the kitchen is a mess and that makes me not want to cook. DO NOT like to cook in a dirty kitchen!!! My mom was/is the BEST cook. She would get up every morning and make us breakfast, make sure we had lunch and cook supper in the evenings. We very rarely went out to eat. My kitchen time is special! As my kids were growing up we spent a lot of time in the kitchen. They knew if we were in the kitchen that meant momma's teacher hat was in the closet :) Although, we did a lot of teaching in the kitchen it just never felt like it because it was fun. Lots of great conversations!!!

Here's one of our favorite foods we've had over the years

Burrito Bowls
chicken or ground beef
onion
tri-peppers
celery
can corn
can black beans
can rotel
black olives
rice

cook chicken or beef
remove from skillet and set aside
saute vegetables
add other ingredients

serve over corn chips w/cheese, sour cream and salsa
top with cilantro if desired (we always desire... we LOVE cilantro)

OHGREATGOODNESS!!! can't believe I'm clicking publish........

Challenge???

It was like I was waiting for something I didn't know I was waiting for, challenge. Even with life being full of interesting, stressful happenings, there's still this want for a challenge. I've always loved to write but I'm a spastic and emotional writer. If there is a particular situation/incident/story then I'm good to go. Otherwise, I sit and stare at a blank page thinking "how in the world to these people do this EVERY day?" Well, I'm about to find out. 31 days of blogging... this should be fun, even if I'm the only one who reads it :) There is an official page with all of the stuff that goes along with this but I think I will just see if I can actually write something for 31 days straight. Sounds crazy at the moment...

This could turn in to a topic for 31 days or just my random happenings. Yesterday, a friend came along with me to see my sister at her coffee shop (shameless plug for Little Bit of Texas in Somerville, AL). She quickly found out what it was like to have 2 teen boys who would forget their head if it wasn't screwed on. I would complain but they come by it honestly so all I could do was laugh. On the bright side, we had a few (thirty) extra minutes to talk while I was running around collecting what was forgotten. It's important to laugh. I like laughing, it's my favorite. Which reminds me... CHRISTMAS IS COMING! See how my thoughts go ALL over the place. My son is just like me, he has started explaining his chain of thoughts that lead to what would otherwise sound like a VERY random point. He said it helps his friends see he's not so random. I just say "in my head... that makes sense".

Come along with me if you'd like... I have no idea where I'm going but I'm certain it will be caffeinated and full of dancing :)