Hobbies - Who needs em anyway!

When I was around 8 years old, it seemed EVERYONE around me had a "hobby" except ME!

Thus the story has gone for the rest of my life. Now, is there any truth to this feeling? Well, not exactly because I've had hobbies. They just haven't been consistent so then I get in this "I need a hobby" state of mind. When in reality, I have hobbies I CAN do, just doing them is another story.

At the age of 9 I finally taught myself how to crochet. There was a loner crocheted slipper in my mom's drawer that my DAD crocheted... yeah, I never knew the story behind that one but I had friends who crocheted and it looked fun so I did it! AND... it wasn't sewing. My sister sewed so I could never do that of course :) I finally learned something other than the chain stitch so potholders and THICK doilies were crocheted by the hundreds! It wasn't until I was an adult (ish - I was married anyway...) and an elderly lady in our church taught me how to read patterns. Oh man, a whole new world opened up. Jeff's aunt gave me a ton of old pattern books from a subscription she had (I still have them, so fun to look at the way things have changed over the decades). I quickly found that selling these items did not make me any money. Making gifts was fun but handmade things tend to only be special to the one who made them - there's a song in there somewhere.

Through the years, I learned that I'm a creative. I've never taken the time to get past the amateur stage of any of my short lived hobbies. Sketching, painting, singing, crafting, decorating, refinishing, musical instruments, writing, hiking, running... they've all had their famous 15 minutes of fame in my life! Crocheting has been the one thing that I will pick up every so often and do a few projects. I have a Pinterest board FULL of inspiration that will more than likely never get done. As I type, there is an unfinished pumpkin hat for our newest little pumpkin staring at me. Now, it's Christmas time... so...

Hobbies can be a great breather OR they can be a great stresser. The actual definition is a regular activity that is done for enjoyment during ones leisure time. That would summize that if it's a stresser, it's not a hobby, it's a job haha

To answer the question in the title - Me! I need hobbies, I think it allows my brain to recharge and get rid of some of the cobwebs. Who knows... maybe you need one too! If you have one, what is it and how does it fit into your life?

They Call You What???

What's in a name? Have you ever given much thought to your name or your parent's names? I've always loved my name but I've had friends who not only hate their name, they change it. They say it doesn't fit. Very rarely do I meet someone and say "you just don't look like a Bob". Seems like somehow, we miraculously end up fitting our name. My full name is Rebekah Joy. My mom wanted to call me Joy. There was one period of time right before I got married, I decided to go by Rebekah. I started a new job and they asked me "what do you want to be called?" I thought "ooohhh a chance for a different name, new start... I'll change my FULL name!" Most people at that time knew me as Joy Corbin. While working there, I became Rebekah Thomas. My sister at one point called (no cell phones then haha) and asked for Joy Corbin, they told her no one by that name worked there. I learned something very important - somehow, there is part of your identity wrapped up in your name. This may be old news to many of you but for me I really didn't think it mattered what I was called. After that, I've always told people up front "I go by Joy". It's part of who I am... literally haha Recently this topic came up in conversation with a friend. I mentioned my aunt Bonnie was actually named Nellie Ruth and my aunt Nell was actually named Bonnie Nell. My dad had 12 siblings so we always joked that my Mawmaw just ran out of names and started using initials. My uncle JL was call Bo and my Uncle F.B. was called Buck. To this day we don't know if there were actually names with the initials. My dad only had a first name. Why is all of this coming up??? Well, I'm a new grandma and the first thing people say here in the south is "what is your grandmother name?"
Say What?
I've always been "Joy", I've never had to PICK a name... who makes these things up??? So, how hard can it be right??? I mean, just pick a name. Ha, are you kidding??? Most people have this cute lil name that just FITS them. We've called My sister Cindy Lou all her life so her Grandma name is "Lou Lou". Another friend is Kristie so she's "KK".
Me???
No one could pick one. Not me, not the kids... just couldn't find one that fit. One day Micah tells Lily "go to your Grand... person... Lady...
And there it was "GrandLady"
GrandLady stuck. There was something about it that made me feel unique, different, elegant even. I've had some funny responses for sure! One friend said "It sounds so elegant... and you're not" HAHA I totally get that but maybe that's why I like it. It's like this call to royalty. My kids have been calling me GrandLady, knowing our sweet Lily would probably not be able to say GrandLady. What is she calling me???
YeYe
Ya know what... I'm here for it!

We had a sweet precious lil grand number 3 born last week!!! She is AMAZING of course!!!!! What is her name???
Jubilee Ada!!!!
What a sweet declaration of God's love!!!
This sweet little one is "adorned" with "celebration of Joy"!!!!!
She is so loved!!!!

What is in a name??? To me, it is so much more than what you are called. It holds a piece of who you are. SO MANY Biblical accounts of God changing a persons name because they were no longer who they once were. Look at all of the names associated with GOD!!!! So powerful!!!!
Years ago we had a pastor who would greet me with this question every time he would see me "are you living up to your name?"
It really made me think...

What about you? What does your name mean and are you living up to it? Ya know, it's ok to change it... if God did it then I think you're ok :)

I Challenge... Me!

Years ago I did a daily blog challenge for the month of October. It was hard, way harder than I thought it would be but I enjoyed it. Lately, I've found myself with blog topics popping up in my mind. Just like Halloween candy, POOF they're gone. So I'm challenging myself. "Self" I said "you need to log these topics in your phone with bullet points so when you have time to sit, you'll actually remember them". "What a good idea" I replied. We had a longer conversation but both of us didn't think it was wise to put that out there :)

Right now at this point in life a daily blog would just make me pull my hair out and would NOT be a FUN challenge at all. Once a week though I feel is attainable. Possibly. I'm not sure how long I want to make this challenge??? Let's start with to the end of the year and just see how that goes. Maybe on Sundays??? I dont' know, we'll see.

P.S.
Still no BT3 (Baby Thomas 3)

Rain? Yep.

Who goes and washes their car in the rain? That would be me!

That makes me sound like the type of person who actually washes her car on a regular basis. No, that is not me but... I know a guy :) Ya see, we have a baby due. I mean, WE as in my son and daughter-in-law have a baby due. Past due actually. She is proving to be stubborn like her sister and not hurry out to meet us. We are nice people huny I promise, just a lil crazy but you'll find a lil crazy will help you survive in this world.

Focus.

Secretly, I was hoping the act of washing my car in the rain would bring some kind of juju that made this baby pop out and join us. It had NOTHING to do with the fact I was driving friends to have coffee and my car looked like a storage unit for infants and elderly. My friends would not care that my car was filthy but I cared. That had been on my list of "ta-dos" for quite some time. My GrandLady life has been full lately and

I'm. Here. For. It.

While I was on my little car washing adventure I sent a couple of Marco Polos to some friends. It was then I realized, I may have had too much coffee. It happens occasionally, sometimes, maybe...

That caffeine was put to GREAT use! The car is washed, vacuumed and lopsely wiped down. We had a great trip to Piper & Leaf in a clean-ish car.

And... no baby.

The moral of this Seinfeld episode of my blog - absolutely nothing. I have no moral here. Just a GrandLady desperately waiting to meet her newest grandchild...

Carry on! (stock pic from the interwebs BUT coulda been me haha)

Ready to Rock

"Ma'am, are you purchasing a bag of rocks?" I've smiled at this phrase for a month. Who buys a bag of rocks? Well, me. I bought a bag of rocks.

Let me back up... Life picked up a bit with the entrance of an amazing little grandbaby. He's beautiful and his parents are doing a phenomenal job. I've been so blessed to sit with this sweet one when mom and daddy need a nap. I woke up one morning with no plans, nowhere to go... I thought. It became so heavy on my heart to "get ready" that I couldn't shake it. Typically, if I don't have anywhere to go I can easily stay in comfy clothes and not shower all day haha. This was different, it was "get COMPLETELY ready". Like, make-up, hair, the whole 9 ya know!

So, I did.

Why? I had and still have NO CLUE! I had one chore I had been meaning to do so once I had gone through the grueling effort of straightening my floor length hair (just kidding, but it totally felt that long) I grabbed my damaged glasses and set off to the eye place to get them repaired. When I finished there, I texted sleepy daddy and asked if they needed anything. Since I knew it would take him a minute to reply I drove down to the thrift store. As I was looking around I spotted a bag of rocks. I stooped down and had this conversation with myself...

Who would donate a bag of rocks?
Well, who would think it's a good idea to sell a bag of rocks?
Yeah but WHO in their RIGHT mind would BUY a bag of rocks?

Me.

I bought a bag of rocks and I'm not even mad about it. Once my arms were so full and HEAVY with things (I refused to get a cart) I made my way up to the cash register. The guy was super nice and started entering the items telling me a story and then he stops, looks at the bag and says "Ma'am, are you purchasing a bag of rocks? If you'll just go outside to the right you can get them for free" We laughed and I expressed my appreciation to him for actually recognizing the irony of this situation and told him about the little conversation I had with myself. Because I can't just leave a moment alone, I explained to him my love of rocks and how THESE rocks were just PERFECT! A sweet lady who was working behind the counter with him spoke up and said "hold on, I HAVE to show you this... you're going to laugh" She goes over and gets her purse, unzips the front pocket and says her daughter tells her "here mommy, will you hold my rocks". The pocket was full of beautiful treasures! I immediately felt such a connection with this little girl!!! YES! EXACTLY!

There are some things in life that are explainable and some things ya just roll with... I love rocks, just roll wif it, k? k!

There was ONE annual field trip we took when I was growing up, I would BEG my mom for money - the quarry. You could purchase a bag of rocks for a $1 if I remember correctly. It was so much fun to me! Then, we would all get on the bus and exchange rocks, or not. My sweet husband has moved a duffle bag of rocks that I've collected over the years probably 20 times over our 27 years of marriage. He just shakes his head haha

So, what am I going to do with a bag of rocks? Not sure really but it sure has given me a lot of smiles :) I think I'll paint them with inspirational words and go hide them in my friend's yard haha

The storal of the mory (look up Rindercella on YouTube) Ya never know what you're getting ready for - just get ready! :)

It Broke

My spoon broke.

My wooden spoon.

It broke.

Things had been teetering for a while. Trying to balance life on a microscopic sized thread. It wasn't going well. After feeling like so much healing had taken place, God showed me that I still have raw open nasty wounds. Some healing has taken place but I'm still in the process of letting God apply that healing ointment. Sometimes, it stings. 

Today has been like so many others lately. Wake up to coffee beside my bed brought to me by my love, try to pry my eyes open and figure out what day it is and then... 

Nothing

I don't have a life. I haven't had "purpose" in quite some time and it's weighing heavy. It's been 2 years since we moved back from Florida and our life changed in so many ways it made my head spin. It's still spinning. Daily life chores seem to be my only "purpose" right now. I'm blessed to have daily chores so don't go thinking this is one big COMPLAINT. It's not. I've enjoyed the lunches, coffee dates and relationship building but...

My spoon broke.

With the break of THE spoon came a fountain of memories. This has been the "go-to" spoon for well... I've just always had it. Don't even remember where it came from. I grabbed it for something one time and noticed a big notch out of it. Walking in to the living room with it held up I asked the boys "what in the world?"  Micah replied with something about a blender. Nate's typical reply to Micah was usually "why ya gotta be like this?"    So I kept the spoon, it made me smile. Made me remember. Not sure at what point it earned the big scorch mark but again, it added character. I noticed lately, it seemed to be getting old "I feel ya spoon, I feel ya". Then today while stirring some washcloths that were soaking in bleach...

It broke.

All of it. Including the little tiny thread that I've been trying to balance life on, it broke. 

It's done. My mommy life is done. I'm not ready for it to be done. They don't need me any more but I still need them.  I'm still learning how to be a mom, how did 25 years go by and I'm still trying to figure it out? 

Life is a series of changes, seasons. It's the "what now?" that gets me. So here I sit, waiting for direction. Trusting it will eventually come. 

Meanwhile, I have to go buy another spoon.

Surviving Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

Time has passed me by and even though there have been many things I would love to log and share, I haven't. Why? Clarity of thought, time, fear... they are all correct.  Life has a way of clarifying some things and at the same time, creating muddy water from what once seemed to be clean and healthy water.

When I began to emerge from the "mostly dead" state I had been in for almost 2 weeks, it was very pressing that I log this for those who are seeking information on this disease. The hero in this story is Jeff... don't for one second think otherwise!!!! 

May 29th I woke up with my bed shaking. I was literally shaking to the point I could barely walk to the bathroom. Getting toilet paper was quite the task. I made it back to bed and somehow managed to swallow 2 Tylenol thinking I had come down with something and had a fever.  Forcing myself on my stomach and trying to control the shake I waited for the Tylenol to kick in.  Then, I was still. Eerily still. My back was killing me and I was extremely nauseous... then I felt like I was going to pass out. This always scares me, I've had a few episodes of passing out and I'm not a fan. If anyone is, I have a good counselor for you.  As I was telling Jeff I was going to pass out, I threw up. Not just the "oops I threw up" it was more like old faithful, it just kept coming. If I hadn't been so lethargic I would have been scared. That set the theme for the next 2 weeks. 

Instead of being on the road to Macon, Georgia where we were to meet our good friends for Memorial Day week end, we found ourselves at the walk in clinic. I've been sick a few times in my life. A few hundred maybe. This one was different. Jeff signed me in and I did my best to answer questions. My lower left back was hurting so bad, this was where labor breathing exercises came in handy. 45 year old grandma and I'm in a room hee hee haw haw-ing.  After an examination, I managed to tell the doctor a few "weird" things going on so she ordered lab work and a urine sample.  I had found a tick in my hair about a week ago but I honestly didn't think that was the problem.  They did thorough lab work, COVID-19 test included. After an hour or 2 they found I did have a UTI so thought it could be a kidney infection but sent cultures off for Lyme and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever(RMSF) "just in case." They gave me a VERY painful antibiotic shot in the same side that was hurting so much, they could have shared the love to the other side but no...  Sent me home with a prescription for amoxicillin. I'm not an antibiotic person but at that point, I really had no choice. I knew I was pretty sick and I was pretty sure amoxicillin wasn't going to help.  The doctor said to come back in 3 days for follow-up if I wasn't any better.  I was NOT any better, I was increasingly worse with every day.  My fever would get to 101 and I would shoot into shock pretty much. Shaking, nausea, everything that comes with fever. The pain was unbearable.  We ended up having to rotate ibuprofen and tylenol every 2 hours just to keep me from having fever episodes. On Monday, spots began to show. They felt like bruises and they were in random places. By Wednesday, we figured they would send us to the ER and we were right.  We made our way to Crestwood Emergency room. They did another lab set complete with COVID-19 test and Lyme culture.  At that point they actually were suspecting Lyme or RMSF but the cultures from Urgent Care had not come back because not only did we catch them on the week end, it was Memorial Day as well.  We left the ER with another antibiotic prescription and no answers.  This is where I need to back the memory train up a bit...

When I was a teen, one of the 2 doctors I went to in my life was a dermatologist for my extreme acne. They had prescribed Tetracycline. When I went back a couple of weeks later, I mentioned to the doctor that I had been having trouble swallowing and I thought maybe I was coming down with a cold or something.  He told me I was having an allergic reaction and that I should stay away from all pharmaceutical drugs "cycline."  So for well over 30 years now, I've told every doctor (trust me that's a LOT of peeps!) that I'm allergic to Tetracycline. 

Back to current story... Doxycycline happens to be the only drug that kills RMSF or to be more scientifically specific - rickettsia group bacteria.  But when I had on my file "allergic to Tetracycline". They wouldn't give it to me without a positive culture but the culture had to be sent to Egypt so we didn't have it.  

Sick. I was so sick, it was survival mode. I couldn't walk by myself, couldn't bathe myself, brush my own teeth. There was no sleep, barely eating... and then Friday, almost a week after first onset, I woke up and could barely talk, by that point I was covered in 3 different types of spots. I was so exhausted, I just looked at Jeffrey and he knew we had to go back to the ER. How he managed to get me from point A to point B is beyond me. I remember wheelchairs and eyes opening occasionally... it's blurry but there.  Once again, the ER gave me a shot, another prescription and sent me home and there was nothing they could do until we see the infectious disease doctor, which wasn't until Wednesday.  I had a fleeting moment in the ER with tears rolling down my cheeks thinking "I won't be alive by Wednesday to see the infectious disease doctor."  Here's where I need to wax sappy and a little bit spiritual. I caught a glimpse of my blue eyed Peruvian and thought "he's fought so hard for me."  In my head I had been quoting Psalm 23 "He restoreth my soul."  Somehow a fight welled up in me. This may sound over dramatic but rest assured... there's no over exaggerating here.  When we got home, I knew it was survival, get to Wednesday.  Up until that point I was stressing over taking to much OTC meds, asking Jeff to do EVERYTHING... the kids... etc.  When we got home from the ER on Friday, my brain kicked into survival mode. I made a list of anti inflammatory foods and supplements for Jeffrey to go get. What little I knew about Lyme and RMSF was inflammation from the bacteria was a big play in the pain. We started keeping a list of meds. At night I set my alarm to take med every 2 hours to keep from going into a fever fit.  It was battle time! I mean, I couldn't stand up by myself but my brain was still working... kind of.  

Monday my fever wasn't spiking to 101 any more. It was staying at 99 which is still high for me, my norm is 96.  Miraculously, we made it to Wednesday! Jeff's work had allowed him to work from home which was a HUGE blessing!!!  My appointment was at 8:45. This non-morning person didn't even care. I just needed relief. The Dr. came in and was very thoughtful and thorough but assessed fairly quickly that it was RMSF. At that point we had received the first culture back and it was negative.  She said that was common and she was not diagnosing on the test, I had every other clinical symptom. We discussed the danger of me taking Doxycyline and she strongly believed that what I had as a teen was an adverse affect to Tetracycline and that it was very much worth taking the Doxycycline under observation. It was the only med choice we had. I was admittedly nervous but the desperation of relief outweighed any fear of allergic reaction.  Jeff went and picked up the doxycyline and I waited there at the clinic. I took the first dose and waited...

We walked (he walked I shuffled) out of there an hour later with hope that this thing might be on it's way out.  They ordered another RMSF culture, just to check so we went to the lab to have that drawn. I'm so thankful for wheelchairs!!!!  

Thursday, I had 2 doses in me and by the afternoon I was able to walk a bit by myself. Thursday night I actually vacuumed. I didn't feel "human" until Sunday.  It had began reversing, with the disease, every day I woke up worse. Once I started taking the antibiotic, every day I woke up a little better!!!  I did all that I could do to keep the side effects from the antibiotic at a minimum but I was SO willing to put up with some side effects if it meant getting this disease out of my system.  

Monday, June 14th. I was sitting here with a very thankful attitude!!!!! Overwhelmingly grateful to be on the other side of this! My phone rang and the caller ID showed it was the health department. She says "we are in connection with the CDC." At that point, I assumed my culture had come back positive and I was even MORE grateful.  RMSF is best if caught early and treated.  For it to go almost 2 weeks could have been so much worse. Many things went into play for this to be diagnosed and for me to be able to take the medicine that killed the bacteria.  

On this side of it looking back... we both wish they would have admitted me when I went to the ER which would have forced an infectious doctor to take a look at me.  Other than that, I'm just grateful!!!  

One of my favorite quotes "you've been mostly dead all day" turned into "you've been mostly dead for two weeks."

Overall  what did we learn? 
Just stay inside - the end.
Ha partially joking :)  
* At first thought of Lyme OR RMSF - TAKE DOXYCYCLINE!!!!!
You can build your system back after you've killed the bacteria! There is a time for antibiotics and this is one of them! 
* Eat AIP (Autoimmune Protocol) It's a challenge but I definitely feel like this is what kept me from dying! 
* Don't be allergic to Doxycycline :) 

I want to document this for a couple of reasons, my memory is horrible and also for those who have RMSF and are looking for information.  There was not a ton of helpful info of what to do. Just scary stuff saying "you're gonna die".  From what I understand the "spots" on each person can look different so I'm posting MY spots as a reference.