The problem with fear

Skydiving, swimming, bridges, glass elevators, planes, trains???  What's your fear?  What is something that has kept you from a certain area of life because of fear?  It may seem silly to other people but to you it's real, it's legit fear!  Some of us it may go deeper than for others.  For me, I could not stand for anyone to touch my feet. Goes back as far as I can remember. This wasn't just a small thing. I couldn't hang my feet off the bed, for a while I couldn't even wear flip flops for fear that something would touch my feet. If there were animals I would sit on my feet so they wouldn't lick them or sniff them. I'm really not sure where or when this started, I just remember it being a part of who I am but I've never liked it.  The fear of something or someone touching my feet would send me into a panic attack and I knew this was not a good thing. A couple of years ago I realized God was saying "give me this, let me have it...".  It was baby steps at first... being ok around animals, letting my feet hang off the bed... little things that were "victories".  Then... this last week God spoke to me in a very real way, in a way that may be difficult to explain in words but I pray you will understand.
Fear is much bigger than just someone/something touching my feet, my fear of many things has kept me in bondage. Fear of failing relationships, failed plans, pain, future, failing health, my children and their future, fear of letting loved ones down, fear of letting God down. Fear is a very weird thing, before you realize it, your life is controlled by it and you aren't sure how it gained so much control.  About 15 yrs ago I began to have panic attacks, I didn't realize that is what they were at first. My health was not the best so it was all wrapped up in a bunch of other things.  What we found was when my body was overwhelmed emotionally/physically/mentally, I began to shut down. My words would not want to come from my brain to my mouth. My thoughts were clear, I just could not get them to come out of my mouth. This has only happened a few times. Last week I experienced this to a level I had not before. While in the midst of this 4 day struggle I was grasping for scripture, motivational speakers, quotes, uplifting music... anything that would help me push through this time. God kept telling me "give me this fear". I didn't really know what he was talking about but I said ok.  On the 4th day, God chose to heal me, not just "oh, I feel better", I mean HEAL ME! I'm blessed to have a husband who prayed with and over me. We experienced this together! I immediately wanted to have a forever reminder. Something tangible, something I would have to face a BIG fear so that I could say "look what God has done in my life!!!!".  I know to some, this will not make sense and that's ok... your journey looks different, it's ok.  I took a big leap and decided to get a tattoo on my foot. I'm not a tat person, haven't ever had the desire to get one. Extra money, pain... no thank you. This time... it had to happen! It was a declaration!

Is 41:10 "do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
II Tim 1:7 "God has not give us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind"
Ps 94:19 "When anxiety was great within me your consolation brought joy to my soul"
Is 43:1 "but now, this is what the Lord says 'FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"
Ps 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears"

My mom went with me to get this tattoo. She's awesome, she held my hand and fanned me with my shoe when I thought I was going to throw up. She's awesome!  We were done and checking out and she said "do you want to go skydiving?"  I very quickly replied "no, I'm good... not a fear I feel I need to conquer"  :)