disappointment

Those of you with kids know that it is always easy, always uplifting, never disappointing... ok, just checking to see if you are REALLY listening. Of course not, we KNOW it's not ALWAYS easy but for some reason I still get surprised when we go through valleys of disappointment. I've been struggling with a child that will go un named and have found myself starting to act mad towards him. With this "how dare you" attitude. "Why can't he see?" is on my mind constantly. I've prayed for guidance and wisdom on how to deal with this but my attitude was really starting to shape my actions (wait... isn't this what I'm aggravated about... yeah...) So, we are here, in Starke, Fl. for Jeffrey's uncle's funeral. A mixed emotion time for sure. We had a blessed trip down. Great conversation, took a nap... etc. I pick up this little devotion book beside the bed and the devotion is "when a friend disappoints you". Even though I'm dealing with my child at this point in time... the truth in this applies. I was both convicted and encouraged but this. Psalm 103:8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. The very first sentence is "How do you deal with people who disappoint you?" HA well... at the moment... I'm upset. I want to discipline him in to action, I want to ground him until he's 18, more chores, more school work... OUCH! I'm not even slightly filled with mercy much less ABOUNDING (filled to the very brim with). Here is another sentence that stuck with me "Can I learn to be gentle in dealing with the faults of others?" Wow! Unfortunately, I've found that I deal more grace and mercy to my friends than I do to my children. It's MY job to train/teach. It's MY job to ground them in what is right... but it's driving a wedge, pushing away. This is NOT what I desire!!! "God's way of dealing with people who disappoint Him is not my most natural way. It's harder. But it's also a far better way". Mercy, Grace, Slow to Anger!!!!!!

Thank you God for being faithful to light the path day by day with each decision that is set before me! Give me strength to follow through with what you have shown me is the RIGHT way to act!

There is a ton of stuff going on right now but this was pressing on my heart to share. Our children are a HUGE part of our journey!!!!