My Boys My Blessings

Anyone with kids knows what a challenge it is to teach/train them yet enjoy them. I have to say I don't have that balanced out very well. I don't want them to grow up and say "mom never told me" or "why didn't you teach me that?". The problem with that is I get very overwhelmed and then they end up frustrated feeling they can do NOTHING right. Last week left me feeling less than adequate as a mother and not necessarily wanting to quit but wondering if my boys would benefit from someone else as a mom. Don't judge me... I've since talked to a few people who have felt the same way along the way so I know I'm not alone. The TRUTH is I'm not only blessed with my little boogers, THEY are blessed with me! The lie of "I'm not good enough" needs to be exposed and I'm grabbing on the TRUTH that God through me can raise these boys to be great godly men!

Yesterday I woke up with just wanting to enjoy the boys. I know school starts back next week and we had some errands to run so I thought we should make it an enjoyable day. We started out to the homeschool store and on the way I had to "gently" remind them that I really wanted the day to be ENJOYABLE, not "ok. y'all. stop." Knowing the homeschool store meant they were starting school soon, they were not extremely excited but I just went with it and didn't "scold" :) I was so proud haha It was really neat inside because they were able to find some books that interest THEM. Nate brings me one and says "this store is proving to be beneficial" YAY! I was not able to find all that I needed there but I was just excited that we had a good time. There was an International Foods store right next to where we were so we went in there. It was really cool to look at all the different things. It was mostly Korean items. There were some Korean ladies in the back making Korean sushi so we were able to somewhat talk with them and try the sushi. We really liked it! Reminded us of our days in PA. We left there with a few things including some Japanese green tea that I thoroughly enjoyed. To keep the cultural ball rolling we decided to go to a German restaurant for lunch. I was soaking it all in! I love that in this small town there is so much diversity. We had wonderful German food and even more wonderful conversation as I set out for this day to just ENJOY my boys. I put aside all little spats and did not try to TEACH them (lemme just say... that was so hard haha) We left very full and satisfied! Thank you Lord for provision! From there we went to the new Guitar Center here. Of course it's like a big play ground to my boys. We spent a good amount of time in there, just looking at everything. Then on to Earth Fare... Momma's playground LOL Although, I made it in and out of there only getting oats (Micah did have to cover my eyes after my sighs got to him) When we left earth fare I decided to see if Mom wanted some coffee, really crazy question but I thought I would ask :) I took her a latte and just chatted with her a bit. Nate said "we've been to Korea, then to Germany, now back to America" We left mom's work and went to the church to clean. I love them! I just LOVE them! It still amazes me that God has blessed me to be a mom. I don't deserve it but yet he has. It's a scary thing, so much that I take it way too seriously. These boys are hilarious and they are so full of energy and life. Life will be very serious for them all too soon. I want to enjoy the times we have now. All in all, a very blessed day!

it's not JUST a wedding ring

So many times people have told me, "I really like your wedding ring". Wedding rings are so special. They symbolize so much. Each couple has a story of how they picked their wedding ring, why they picked that particular one. How that ring was given, things that were sacrificed to buy the ring... Sounds funny to say this is a God-given ring, but I truly believe it is and I'm thankful for it. Makes me smile :) When we got engaged, May 1st 1993, I really wanted my mom's wedding band. I had played with that all my life and dreamed one day I would wear it. Jeffrey wanted to buy me one of course so we settled on getting a guard to go around it. I just wasn't happy with the one we were paying on so we decided against it. We stuck with my parents old bands and I LOVED them! We just decided that one day when we are able we will buy bands of our own. We had been married 2 1/2 years when we had Micah and Jeffrey's band was wearing thin and beginning to cut him. I made the mistake of trying to put on my wedding rings when Micah was 2 weeks old and they got stuck. We had to have them cut off :( At that time I began to look for rings that fit both of our tastes. We wanted matching rings, not flashy, 2 tone. With all that there were not many options. I saw one in a magazine and LOVED it. We did not have the money so I cut out the picture and put it in my cedar chest. A few years later Jeffrey's ring had finally come to the end of it's life and we had a tax return we decided to buy rings with. The problem was, I couldn't remember where I got the picture from. I called a few places and finally found where it was, Alabama. The lady was a romantic apparently and just awed over my story of holding on to the pic. She gave us the sale price for the rings AND free shipping. When our rings came I was SO SUPER EXCITED!!! I would just stare at it, just made me smile. I went to a meeting and a lady commented on my ring "is that a James Avery?". At that point I had not heard of James Avery and told her no. She said "He designs jewelry with a Christian outlook" Hhhmmm I began to look at my ring and thought I would scream.... here's what I saw...

Ring ~ a symbol of unity.
Gold rings ~ there are 3 small gold rings. We are one through God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit
Diamonds ~ there are 7 diamonds. The number of perfection/completion.

I couldn't wait to get home and show Jeffrey! I was so excited. Every ring has a story... now you know ours :)

to PA and back

Wow! What an amazing trip we had to PA! We left bright n early... er... early on Wednesday morning. Amazingly enough we did get on the road in time. Once we arrived at B'ham airport we experienced our first "new" thing. We have never parked our car at the airport for an extended time. That lead us to walking a LONG distance because we didn't know where we were going haha We had tried to print our boarding passes but it would not let us. Once we were in we tried again and it still would not let us. The attendant found out that for some reason they had not issued Nate a ticket. We decided that we indeed did want him to go with us so we had to resolve that issue. We all made it through security with no problems and proceeded to our gate. Our trip up went very well! The boys were so excited and full of questions. We arrived at the airport where our sweet new friends were waiting with a van to pick us up. It was really cool how this van reminded us so much of Jeff's parents van.... we felt at home already :) Joni was super organized and had brought the boys a sandwich, chips and water (she has 4 boys and knew they would be hungry). The boys ate it up on the spot. We had a beautiful drive to the base and began to get to know our new friends. We had some down time to relax a bit then met up with Joni for a tour of the base. The castle has such an amazing history. It was amazing how God supplied this large space for this sending base. On to dinner which was amazing. There is a Korean church there who supplied the food for Wednesday night dinner. It was a great treat to try different cuisine. We were blessed to find out the kim chi had shrimp in it BEFORE jeff ate what he put on his plate. Definitely didn't want to take a trip to the ER. We met with the directors and found out (and gave) more information. By the time we went to bed our heads were very full (as opposed to their normal empty... totally kidding... maybe...) I did have the fleeing thought of "will my head hold this much info and thinking?" Quickly gave it to the Lord because I did not want to entertain the "I can'ts". Thursday morning came slowly because thankfully we didn't have anything pressing bright and early. That was a blessing because it gave my headache a chance to go down before the day started. We went to the media building and Jeff was shown all of the IT equipment and was given the "run down" on all that was involved. We stayed for a little bit but it was a foreign language to us so Joni and I went to pick up lunch. Philly cheese steak sandwiches ~ everyone knows that when in Philly you HAVE to have a cheese steak sandwich. Her son is trying to get his hours in for driving so he drove us to pick up sandwiches. He prayed "God please don't let us crash and die" to which my reply could only be... Amen! We were trapped in the car smelling the wonderful food on the way back to the base. The boys inhaled their sandwiches, deciding they MORE than liked it. At one point Joni says to Micah "oh, you are left handed?" Micah looks at the sandwich in his left hand and says "no ma'am, I just eat with whatever hand is closest to the food". After lunch we headed down to hear a couple give their story and where they were headed. SUPER encouraging and challenging at the same time. The boys thoroughly enjoyed hearing their story! Thursday afternoon Jeff helped a lady with her computer and advised her in ways to get things fixed. It was more than he could take care of in the 2 days we were there. We spent the rest of the afternoon looking at the "needs wall" and praying for direction. They place all of the needs on a wall and pray over them continually! That was almost overwhelming. We had great conversation with Joni and Burt as well. Burt took a look at Jeffrey's toe ~ which was infected :( Dinner was once again wonderful!!! They eat all together in the "cafeteria". We met with another missionary couple. They have 2 kids and were very interesting to talk to. He and Jeff discussed lots of tech stuff... the women folk um... didn't :) We went back to their apartment there on the base and she had a wonderful blueberry pie that was donated by Whole Foods. HAHA forgot to mention that... when we arrived Joni told us that Whole Foods donates their "old" stuff to them every week so most of their food was from there... she "hoped" that was ok. WOW! for those of you who know me... that is MORE than ok, it was PERFECT! among the donated items that were in our room was Throat Coat tea. I had tried to find it here at home before we left and could not so when it was in our room I was so tickled. Little winks from God for sure!!!! During the time we were talking with other people the boys would find something to entertain themselves. They made friends there which was very nice. They played v-ball, risk, worked out... just tons of stuff to do really. On to Friday morning... woke up headache free WOOHOO! we ate a quick breakfast which was right there in our rooms so that was great. Went to the weekly worship/prayer meeting. God touched my heart so many times during the 3 days we were there but this was a time where I did cry a little... just... very humbled. After the meeting we talked to a few more people then went and picked up our rental car. We had a day of site seeing in the cold and rain... it was still fun though. We ate at WaWa which apparently is known in that area. You order on a computer, boys thought it was pretty cool. We took our food to Valley Forge and ate it there. We drove around Valley Forge which was very cool... literally :) We were headed back and passed a HUGE mall so we stopped... this place was enormous. If I was a shopper I would have been delighted. It was still fun to walk around and look at the different shops. So many we had never heard of. We made our way back to the base, took a nap and freshened up then took the car back. The evening was spent with Joni, Burt and their family. They were in Kyrgyzstan for 9 years and now are the candidate directors there at the US base. We had a great evening, Joni made a wonderful meal. The boys played risk, ate ice cream. We were able to get a good picture of the organization through the days we spent with them. We left their apartment and walked back up the hill to the castle where our room was. It was cold and drizzly and our heads and hearts(and stomachs) were full. Packed up all our things and tried to get a few hours of sleep. EARLY alarm sounds at 4am(which is 3am our time) were not exactly welcomed but we did get up and get ourselves out the door by 4:45. Joni was so nice to drive us to the airport at the terribly early hour. We made it in time and said our goodbyes. I love how God places people in your life just at the right time! Whether our paths cross again or not... I've been blessed to meet an amazing lady. We had the same ticket issue with Nate again but we were determined to take him home so we resolved the problem. Made it through security with a minor "oh, sorry I forgot my water bottle was in there". We were so tired and had not eaten anything but did not have time to get anything so on the plane we went. I thought I was going to toss my cookies... well... you know what I mean. We made it to Charlotte and were able to sit, eat, discuss... just spend time together. I love my family so much!!! I was so proud of the boys, they had a blast and that was what we were shooting for! We were all ready to get home and get some sleep. Slept for a little while, got up and got ready... trying not to wake Jeffrey... started to grab my purse to go get Joe and remembered ~ I don't have a license :( So we all ended up going and picking up Joe who was VERY well taken care of by our friends. Overall it was an amazing trip ~ even with all these details, I could not begin to tell you how much God worked. We continue to seek Him for His direction in our lives. We had a wonderful time!!!!! Oh... just one last little itty bitty thought... if you ever just "happen" to get behind a chicken POOP truck, pull over and sit for like say... an HOUR. Let the truck GO... FAR FAR FAR ahead of you... I'm just say'n... it might save some gag'n :)

The journey takes a turn to.......

We are so excited to finally "let it out". We are moving forward on a dream God gave us many years ago. A dream to be in full time mission work. He has taken us through many curves, ups and downs but we have learned SO MUCH! We have been praying for a while about exactly what should that "next" step be. With much prayer, counsel and overall seeking God's guidance we have decided to take an inquiry trip to check out a mission org in PA. We may look at other places as well as God leads. I have to say I'm so thankful for people God has placed in our lives right now to be a support. We know we are just starting out on this phase of our journey and we have more curves and bumps ahead. We are trusting God to lead us each step. Laying aside all fears of past events (on a daily basis... actually minute by minute at times) giving to God everything and everyone involved in this process.

The boys and I are reading through Jesus Freaks. This morning we read "Don't pray that I be delivered, only pray for me, that inward and outward strength be given to me, not only to speak and write this, but also to perform and endure it, so that I may not only be called a Christian, but also be found one in truth.... For I am the grain of God. I am ground by the teeth of the beasts, that I may be found a pure bread for Christ, who is to me the bread of life" I was left speechless ( I know this is hard to imagine) Simply humbling for me to think of those who have laid their lives down for Christ. MY CHRIST! As Christ laid His life down for my sins there are others who have sacrificed in many ways, leaving their families all of their comforts even giving their life for the cause of Christ. This is my desire!

So then... comes a day such as yesterday when I think I'm going to totally lose it and I think "I'm not strong enough for this path, I don't have what it takes" God ever so lovingly shows me "nope you don't! I do!" I'm so thankful for His strength!!!

We are on countdown to April 6th. We will be headed to Philadelphia, PA. Let the adventures CONTINUE!!!! :)

On the Hunt...

I'm always on the hunt for really tasty healthy recipes. I found a new favorite website.

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipes/

As I browsed through their recipes I immediately found some very simple wonderful recipes with ingredients I didn't have to look up. I decided to try a muffin recipe this morning since I had all of the ingredients (except eggs, Micah went to Jacob's and he gave us some free range eggs woohoo). I did not change the recipe at all. Next time I will use homemade granola, omit the white flour and use all whole wheat. Use honey instead of brown sugar and reduce the liquid. Honey cooks faster so it is necessary to reduce the cooking temp about 25 degrees.

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipes/1472

New Mercies & Coffee

I so should have titled my blog that "New Mercies & Coffee". I just love all that entitles. Every morning is new and fresh, like that cup of wonderfully smelling coffee. New Mercies... waiting on me every morning, usually like my coffee that is so lovingly made and brought to me by my love. My coffee sits by my bed, waiting there until I take that first sip and aaahhhhhh. So many times I sit here and read God's Word, sip my coffee, check in on my friends and soak in those New Mercies. BUT... so many times... I don't. It's so easy to carry yesterday with me, to dwell on the mess ups, the hurts, the "should haves" AND should NOT haves. Today, I woke up with an overwhelming sigh of "AAAAHHHHHH fresh, new start!" 2010 is gone. 2011 is HERE. It's exciting to think of this fresh new slate, sitting here waiting to be written on. I want God to write this year, I want Him to even doodle, draw all sorts of things.... then at the end of the year, I want to sit back and see another portion of the beautiful picture He is creating. I've been blessed with 35 pieces of this picture, they are all beginning to fit together and I'm beginning to see some of the beautiful ways God "creates". I see some places were I grabbed the pencil and thought I could draw better. He so lovingly took it when I gave in back in humility. He is taking my terrible preschool scribble and turning it in to something HE will be oh so proud of!
Found a book this morning that I had forgotten about. This little poem was a great way to start out the new year.

Steppingstones
Think not that life has been unfair and given you too much to bear...
For God has chosen you because with all your weaknesses and flaws
He feel that you are worthy of the greatness of His wondrous love.
Welcome every stumbling block and every thorn and jagged rock.
For each one is a steppingstone to a fuller life that we've ever known,
and in the radiance of God's smiles we learn to soar above life's trials.
And as we grow in strength and grace the clearer we can see God's face.

Happy New Year!

My "angel" Grandma

Grandmothers are amazing! They have such an impact on their grandchildren. I had 2 wonderful biological grandmothers... Maw maw Corbin and Maw maw Marlow. We visited them regularly but did not live close to them. God saw fit to bless me with a Grandma though. I can't remember exactly how she came to be a part of our family, I just remember she was always there. Her name was Lucille Panhorst. To me, she was my Grandma... to others, she may have been a bit much to deal with :) She was opinionated, strict, didn't mind telling on the kids she saw "misbehav'n". Grandma worked in the cafeteria and lived on the property there where my parents worked and we went to school so I saw her every day. Most of the time I would even go by and see her after school. She lived in a one room little apartment that was always a total mess. There were things everywhere, but I loved it. I didn't have to worry about messing anything up :) There was always a puzzle out on the table, her big black Bible and her stack of cards and letters she was currently writing. She had the gift of writing. She loved sending cards for any occasion. I think of her often! She was a BIG part of my growing up life. A few years after Jeff and I were married Jeff lovingly called Grandma Panhorst my "angel". She was my Grandma at our wedding. Yesterday, I found out my "angel" Grandma went home to be with her Jesus. I know she is enjoying Heaven SO MUCH!!! So my mind is filled with so many memories. I'm so blessed that my parents opened our home to her, I know she had to give them a hard time ha ha. She was also VERY appreciative of all their care. My mom would roll her hair and "set" it on Saturdays. My dad kept her car serviced. I remember that car well, she would come pick me up and we would go paint the town. Actually, we would drive far out in to the country or to the nursing home to visit her friends. Many times she would take me to see my friend. I looked forward to our times together. I talked as much as she did so we would just talk away. I loved her hugs. She always smelled like bleach. She would clean the cafeteria with bleach and her hands would be dry and very clean. Typically Grandma would come over every Sunday, or at least go to lunch with us. It was just understood, I don't even remember anyone asking her... although that could have happened because I lived in my own little world most of time, and she was ok with that. In November of 2008 I was blessed to get to know another Grandma... Grandma Joan. What I didn't know was that as I was saying goodbye to Grandma Joan this past January, Grandma Panhorst was also getting ready to leave this earthly home. Heaven is a sweeter place. Maybe all my Grandmas are sit'n there having a feast!