You're going to need that later...

The coffee has been chugged this morning but my brain is still a little sluggish. As life moves forward it seems to just speed up. It's a challenge to keep things in perspective and keep my eyes on Jesus. I find myself praying that at every corner "God, keep my eyes on You!". Between work, kids, school, husband, church, friends, preparing for mission trip, sleep (maybe a little...) and every day living, things can get a little hectic.
Sometimes, we need to stop. and eat. at mom's house. :)
Ya see, when I go to my mom's house, I find food yes but I find love and coffee haha This past Tuesday my mom made this HUGE pot of soup for all of us, it was amazing soup but as I was looking around at what she had prepared my eyes caught this pan of... goodness.... greatness.... blueberry awesomeness!!!! dump cake! I gasped and she said with a huge grin "it's blueberry". Here's the thing about blueberry dump cake, there is NOTHING HEALTHY about it but it is the type of food that brings health to my soul. It speaks to me. This is one of the things my mom would bake when I was younger and I think I would just eat dump cake for days until it was gone. breakfast. lunch. dinner. Isn't it cool how the little things bring us back to "center". It's so simple. The love that my mom puts in to making food for us speaks so loud you can feel it! We sit down, eat, talk, laugh... eat some more... all the while, I'm soaking in every moment why? Because I know it's from God! I know God is loving on me and He's saying "Joy, soak this up... you'll need this later...".

This is how I feel when God feeds my soul. In that time of growth where He says "Here Joy, eat this, enjoy this... you're going to need this later". The last couple of days Jeff has shared a sermon series with me about prayer. It has been exactly what I've needed! I love God's timing!!! ALWAYS on time! He sends friends to speak God's goodness in to my life, right when I need it. In this hectic time of life when we are in the midst of so many changes God stills my heart. I found myself asking Him yesterday "can I just rest in You? can i just lay still?" He says "child, that's all I've wanted!"

As life moves forward, I pray that you feel His presence in whatever situation you are in. Have tea or coffee with a friend, enjoy a meal with your family... soak it up.... you're going to need that later :)

Have you ever started planning a trip? Maybe a special vacation? You begin to plan and scheme and you get so excited at the possibilities. Then 2 weeks before the trip, you get so sick you just can't imagine being able to go on this trip and your dreams and schemes just come crashing down. 4 days later low n behold – you're healed. The trip is back on! Then 3 days before you leave, you wreck your car, you are ok but your car takes money to fix... money you were going to use for your trip. One day before you leave, you get a check in the mail, reimbursement you had forgotten about. Yay! Trip is back on! When you finally arrive at this beautiful beach, so serene and majestic, you take a deep breath and think “I really never thought I'd get here”.

Isn't that like life? We plan but God directs our path (Prov. 16:9). Many years ago God placed a passion and desire in us for overseas missions. To be honest, there were times where we thought we heard God wrong. Who are we to be called to another country? Who are we to say “God is calling us...”? He has shown us, we are His children, His beloved and ultimately this journey is to know Him more. J.I. Packer stated “Once you become aware that the main business that you are here for is to know God, most of life's problems fall into place of their own accord”. We've set out on a few different adventures, God has changed our path and we questioned. We questioned our motives, our desires, our heart? Did it line up with God's heart? As we look back we see how much God has been teaching us. As we look forward we know... that is a life time journey! Our prayer is to stay humble and teachable!

Brings me to this phase of the Thomas Journey! Compassion Peru is born! Compassion Peru has been a long time com'n. We have dreamed, prayed, planned for such a time as this. God is continually leading us in the direction He wants us to go and we are forever grateful!!!!! He's teaching us to depend on no one but HIM! To keep our eyes directly on HIM! Wow, what a lesson we are still learning :) Our goal with Compassion Peru is to partner with like-minded individuals and organizations in accomplishing short term projects to achieve a long term solution for the poverty stricken areas around Lima, Peru. Just a little background – Jeff's parents went to Peru in a step of faith when Jeff was 6 wks old. He grew up there, came back to the states when he was almost 18. I call him my Peruvian blonde :) His heart for the people there is truly God-given! We are so excited to be serving along side many who have already given so much of their lives to be God's hands and feet there in Peru. God is doing great things!!!!

If you would like to stay updated we have a few options:
Facebook Page – www.facebook.com/compassionperunow (feel free to like and share)
Website – www.compassionperu.org
Blog - http://compassion-peru-update.blogspot.com/

Thanks so much for coming on this journey with us! What a blessing you are!!!!!

New Beginnings... again...

2015 - and I still don't have a hovercraft. What's with that??? It does seem a bit "unreal" for some reason. As a child we were always told Jesus would come back and we wouldn't live to see these days. Goes to show ya, we ain't in charge :) I love new beginnings, new days, it is a well known fact that I'm not much of a morning person but I love what mornings bring. Same with new years. A fresh start, a time to set and renew goals.
This year we have started out with the Daniel 21 day modified fast. I have taken time away from social networks (hmm is blogging considered a social network... oops...) as well as fasting from certain foods. We are on day 5. So far we are pressing forward. Any time one chooses to make an intentional effort to draw closer to God, there is an understood spiritual battle that will occur. Not to mention, we are depriving our bodies of all they are used to having... like... chocolate :) I have enjoyed the extra time in the Bible and reading 2 different books. I've spent more time in the kitchen which is a challenge but... that's what it's about, sacrifice and being intentional. Last night I made spaghetti squash with quinoa "meatballs". I can't say it was our favorite but one thing we've decided is this is not a time for amazing food. It's a time to be fed and be thankful. Our focus is drawing closer to God. One of my favorite memories so far has been Jeffrey eating "sawdust" as Micah called it. I attempted to make him granola bars out of food we can eat. I consider myself to have a pretty tough tongue/stomach and I couldn't swallow these things. Jeffrey somehow ate them :) This last batch I used a simple syrup made from dates which helped a ton. As they are not like our regular bars, they are definitely edible. It's been a learning time, a humbling time. A time time to focus and recharge.
Happy New Year!

Why we do what we do

When hard times come, what do we do? Why do we bake, paint our nails, wear teal, gray, blue... or any other color??? Why do we run or obsess over our health? Why do we buy people things, take them food??? Everyone deals with grief and pain differently, we all have our "go to's". I paint my nails... yes, it's frivolous and really doesn't "help" anyone BUT it helps me not bite my nails off and reminds me to pray. I bake, I love to bake and for the most part people need to eat. Some people retreat, some need to talk it out, some do both at different times (sometimes minutes apart).

With all the things going on in the world... sad, heartbreaking, horrible things... what do we DO??? See, here is where the problem is... we feel we have to DO something. WE want to feel in control. The other morning I was drying my hair and my hair dryer quit. Jeffrey says "lemme see that". He takes the end off and says "here's the problem". He cleans out all the dust and muck, put it back together and viola! My hair dryer was fixed! It hit me... we want to fix it! It feels so good to have a problem/issue and then FIX it! It's our nature! But... how do you fix a broken heart? How do you cure cancer? How do you fix a broken marriage? We can't! So then what are we supposed to do??? We sit and do nothing right, I mean, if we aren't in control and we can't fix it well then what????? This, my friends is where the fight is... do what you can, where you can, when you can and the rest... you have to let go - OUCH! That hurts just typing it out... let it go (ya got it in your head don't ya??? you're welcome) God in all His sovereignty has it under control! So do we stick our heads in the sand and pretend we are living in a fairy tale??? Well, you could I guess but all fairy tales have witches, goblins or wicked stepmoms so good luck with that too! Here's where I want to challenge (only because I'm being challenged). Why is it we look at how everyone else deals with grief/pain/heartache/life's problems as "how could they?" but continue to DO our thing? It seems there is little understanding for how we each tick. Let me say this... it's free... NO ONE ON THIS EARTH IS PERFECT!!! That means, every single one of us even though we act like we are a spiritual giant who can handle all of the world's problems and more... we can't! At some point - we are weak. At some point - we fall. I don't want you to have blinders on about me. See... when life gets hard, I don't always immediately sit down and read the Bible and seek God's face. I don't always talk to my husband correctly and love him like I should. I am not the perfect homeschool mom who always deals with my boys exactly how I should. I'm a mess... I'm a God-fearing mess. I strive with all that is in me to make the right choices and do the right things but I'M A MESS! If you can accept that then please... come join me because I am not going to think you are perfect and if you act like you are... you're lying! Can God give supernatural peace, strength and comfort??? Of course He can... I've felt it, I know it's there. I also know that no human being can live this fallen life without falling. So people out there (all 2 of you) please be gentle! Please be understanding! Facebook can be so good and so bad! I've watched how people rant and release stress, grieve, express pain... and others don't say a word but you know they are aching. Others live in their own world and they are ok with that. Why can't we have understanding???? To understand and have compassion is worth a million dollars!!!! We can't fix it! We can love!

OH... and laugh! God made laughter! I know it's hard with so much pain and suffering to find the joy in things... but they are there, trust me!
If you are having a hard time finding something to laugh about... lemme help ya...

Did you know a person could have that many chins?????
Life is short y'all! Do what you can, when you can, where you can! oh and that cliche... live, love, laugh... might hold some truth :) I hate cliches LOL

so many feelings... but God...

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD
is the strenth of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26


Life has a way of happening all at one time it seems... or so I thought. What I've found is I really didn't have a clue what "life" could bring. We know that right... we know we have it "good" and we count our blessings yet we...well, I have a tendency to live in this "I'm so stressed, life is rough" mode. BUT I will count my blessings and be thankful while still hanging on to this "poor pitiful me" attitude.

Wake up one morning and then...
BAM

Life has now changed. The new normal is so out of reach... beyond reality and yet, it's real. ALL. TO. REAL. People deal with grief in their own way. None of them "wrong"... just different. For me, take all of those ways and combine them because on any given day I can deal with it differently. I'm just "fun" like that. Up until today I have withdrawn, not really ready to talk per say. Today, it has been a feeling of needing to write this out. Will it make it more clear? I doubt it... but maybe it will gather some prayers and show others they are NOT ALONE!!!!

A little history behind all of these ramblings...

Precious friends were in an accident on Monday. Mom was driving, 4 kids in the vehicle. Sweet lil Micah (5) went to be with Jesus. Sarah (9, in Birmingham) and Rebekah (7 in Huntsville) are in very critical condition. Mom and baby girl have been discharged. Sweet Asher and Lilah are being cared for and loved on.

My reaction is irrelevant in this... but I know like everyone... we can't wrap our heads around this and we find ourselves saying "what happened?", "what do we do?". We go to the only place we know to go, God's Word. Our only constant.
He has never failed. No, I don't understand... it's beyond human understanding. A friend said "I have to believe God, I have to... there is nothing else" To believe God is to KNOW His ways are higher than ours and He loves His children. I'm holding on to that!

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

You can go here to see updates. Please pray with us! So many hurting.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/thebrownfamily2

Recently, I watched a miracle be performed in my Dad's life. Being on the door of death, God chose to heal his body. I KNOW miracles happen. I also know in God's sovereignty it is His will in the end. There just is no human way of understanding. We grab on to His truths and we pray! We humbly pray!

My Mom's home = breathe easy

There is something about my mom's place that just makes me breathe easy. It's not the "house", it's her home... wherever she is. If I could bottle the smell and just open it when I'm stressed, I would. I could go to bath and body and buy one of those flower thingies she uses but... it just wouldn't be the same. My my mom is a minimalist, no clutter, no "stuff", just a home. Warm and cozy. There's always coffee for which I'm VERY grateful but to be honest that is only a slight reason I love going over there. It's 100% better when she is there of course but when she is not, somehow I still feel welcome. She sends me these txts like "is veg soup ok?". Well, heck yeah!!! Our school is walking distance from her house so on Mondays she will make us lunch or we will just raid her fridge ha. My mom loves wind chimes, she has 2 beautiful ones on her back patio. The other day it was so windy and they were singing beautifully!

As I often do when I go to my mom's, I find myself in the bathroom. No, not for the reason you think. I have a love/hate relationship with my mom's close-up mirror. She has good lighting and a magnified mirror and well... I have a slight "issue" with... Ok... let's just bare it all here... I have a unibrow. It's something I lovingly inherited from my dad's side of the family. My uncle, bless him, had one long brow, bushy and beautiful :)

Since I'm not fond of bushy and beautiful I try to keep mine plucked. I was standing in her bathroom and I began to think "WHY do I do this to myself, why do I keep coming back in here, get her tweezers (which are ALWAYS in the same place) and torture myself???" Then... God began to speak to me. Joy, it's not easy when you CHOOSE to draw close and let the Light shine. I've found in my walk with Christ as I begin to draw close to Him and invite him in every area of my life, it hurts sometimes. He lovingly reveals my "unibrow" that needs to be taken care of. What is it that draws me back? Why do I continue to go back to His Word and seek Him? Because, He is making my insides beautiful. He reveals truth. He allows me to see those really long wirey hairs that need to be pulled haha That's a terrible picture but it's true! When I leave my mom's bathroom, I walk with confidence, knowing that for the remainder of the day I am unibrow free. When I draw close to God and let Him "search me and know me" I can walk away confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in me will complete it! Phil 1:6

:)

Once upon a time there was a lady (we'll go with a young lady) who used to go out with friends and have coffee. This lady (YOUNG) would even sometimes have days where there was NOTHING to do and she would sit, and get bored. If you find this lady (she's young... quite young...) please tell her that she's missed BUT... please remind her of this......

How blessed she is to have a job she loves. How blessed she is to have family who love her and help her. How blessed she is to have boys who pitch in and do everything they can to help and love her with a BIG love. How blessed she is to have a husband who works hard, loves hard, prays hard and sacrifices even harder because he loves her with all his heart. She needs to be reminded of these things ever so often because when she stops and thinks of all her friends who she misses well... she gets a little sad. I bet deep down she knows that God is at work and that He has some awesome things in store and she knows that now is NOT the time to give up. So, maybe just tell her to keep going... keep getting up and going to work, keep homeschooling, keep singing, keep cooking, keep being taxi driver because one day....... she'll miss it. I think she might need to be told that getting old is ok too.

And they lived happily ever after (every once upon a time deserves a good happily ever after)