Vintage Thrift Decor

Some things can only be told in story form. I could tell you the punch line outright (my hubs would be happy) but where's the fun in that??? So...

Story Time!

A while back Jeff and I went thrifting and among other things, we found this cool vase. I was a bit confused by it but it was metal and obviously vintage so I got it. While rearranging my baking shelf, I decided this vase would work well as a book end because it had a flat side. Stuck some greenery in that thang and VOILA!!!!

Fast forward many moons!

A few days ago my inlaws came to town on an unplanned evacuation visit. Thankfully, their place is fine and they were able to make it back home safely with no damage and power to boot!
My Mother-in-law came in and was looking around in my dining room, she looked up at the top shelf. The conversation went something like this...

"Joy, do you have a urinal in your kitchen?"
"I don't know, do I?" I turn around and see what she's looking at. I said "Is that a urinal? For real? It had a flat side and I couldn't figure it out. Do urinals have a flat side???"
She nodded yes with the funniest look on her face
At this point, I didn't really think it could be a urinal so I thought I would look it up when I got the chance. We both went on about our lives like that was a normal interaction.

Today, I thought about it again and looked it up... Yep.

A vintage military urinal.

In my dining room, holding greenery. Y'all.... A URINAL!!!!

Right when I was showing Jeff and cackling, my DIL walked in. I'm DYING laughing, so I have to share the whole story. She kinda gave me the same look my MIL did. hahahaha

Jeff says "well, it's a good thing you didn't use it as a pitcher and serve tea" LOL

Seriously wish I would have done that now... it would have made this story so much better!!!!!!

Life is short, go buy a urinal and stick some flowers in it HAHAHAHA :)

Yeah but...

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Yeah but...

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."

Yeah but...

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Yea but...

Fear. Dismay. Weakness. Chaos. Questions. Confusion. Feeling alone. Discouragement.

If you've walked this earthly road any amount of time, you've seen pain and evil. You're aware that things don't always work out in favor of the "good people". So does that make me less of a Christian because I'm afraid and discouraged.

Tired.

That's the bottom line. Then I remember "Do not grow weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not"

Yeah but...

I'm fainting and I don't want to.

Then I'm reminded of Daniel, he just kept doing what God had instructed him to do. Moses questioned and was confused and yet God in His sovereignty, used Moses to bring glory to Himself. How human was Peter? The list goes on...

The reality is we can choose to trust God, that He IS all of what/who He says He is or... not.

Evil exist. Broken systems exist. Disease exist.

Yeah but...

God.

I choose to believe in the ONE DAY when God will reign and His righteouseness will be made known.
I choose to keep quoting truths no matter how many times my humanness brings doubt and fear in front of me.
I choose to trust His sovereignty!

"He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people's disgrace from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. In that day they will say 'Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the Lord we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.'"

Essentially, coming to the realization that here on this earth we may never see the "why".

Yeah but...

One day, WE WILL!

And that my friends is where I will land today. Tomorrow, will hold its own worries and I will once again seek His Word for the reminders that HE alone is trustworthy!!!!!

Precious Memories, they definitely linger

"Ja get up before ya woked up?"

I'm sure my Papaw said a lot of wonderful things but for some reason, this is the phrase I repeat the most. My grandparents got up with the chickens.

I, did not.

When we visited their house that was nestled in the hills of North Alabama, the last thing I wanted to do was get up at 4am and... well, do nothing. Mawmaw and my mom always had an excellent breakfast of biscuits & gravy, sausage, fried taters and usually fresh tomatoes. Once breakfast was consumed, the day was usually spent just talk'n or maybe a visit to the Pig if it was trad'n day.

As I would lay there under the same quilts my mama used as a kid, my mind would take in all the things. My sister and I usually slept in the peach room. There was also a purple room and a pink room. I was never quite sure why the rooms were so bright, I was told at some point my Papaw was color blind but I'm not sure that's truth. The peach room had just enough room for the furniture. The smell was a mixture of cedar (from the wardrobe), coal and just plain ol old stuff LOL Not sure how to describe it other than that but I can still most definitely smell it.

After laying there for as long as I could possibly hold the fact I had to use the one bathroom in the house, I'd mosey down the hallway. Biscuits would be sitting on the table, what was left of breakfast in bowls with plates over them to keep the flies out and Papaw, sitting in his chair sport'n his rainbow suspenders. With a mouth full of dip he'd say with a chuckle

"Ja get up before ya woked up?"

Yesterday, I indeed got up before I woked up

Lately, I've had the liberty of waking up when my body wants to which is usually 6:30 or 7. Yesterday, I had to... well, I THOUGHT I had to set my alarm for 6. My body wasn't a fan. As I laid here trying to pry my eyes open, the thought crossed my mind "it's much easier to get up when I wake up"

DING DING DING DING

So THAT'S what he meant... I laid here and chuckled at the thought of him chuckling. I'm get'n closer to 50 every day and I'm just NOW understanding what that means. Here's the thing about getting up before you wake up - your body may fight back.

It turned out to be most definitely a Monday in all the ways BUT I'm happy to say that today - I woke up BEFORE I got up :)

My Papaw passed away 37 years ago today.

I'm grateful for the times we did have but if I could go back, I'd get up a little earlier and sit a little longer. Wrap the quilt around me and shuffle down the hallway in my black bottom socks (coal heaters make EVERYTHING black) just to hear one more time...
"Ja get up before ya woked up"

What's Your Story, about HIS Glory?

There's just something about a good story. Make no mistake a good story is made even BETTER by a great storyteller! Can I tell you something??? God is THE BEST author!!! Of course, the Bible comes to mind when I think of God's love letter to us. How many of us can name a book that tells a story that hits us to our core? It allows us to connect to the main characters and almost feel what they are feeling.

Years ago, 2005 to be exact, a song came out by Matthew West "Next Thing You Know". One line stood out to me and I've repeated it hundreds of times since.

"What's your story, about His glory? You gotta find your place in the history of grace"

This line comes to mind every time I hear one of God's children telling their story, giving glory to the Author! God's story like any good story has many characters, plot twists, highs and lows. Villians and ultimately if we allow it... one hero!

Memoirs of people sharing their faith stories are among my FAVORITE things to read! As I was finishing up my latest, I was in tears. I related to so many things. It encouraged my heart to see the perseverance and hope carried out in her life. Then it hit me, I think I've cried with EVERY memoir I've read as I've related to many of their struggles.

Then it hit me again...

In each of our stories we share common threads.

We are human. We are broken. We have pain. We desire to heal.

Of course, there are differences that make each of our stories unique but these common threads are what help us show compassion to each other. Joining alongside each other as we press forward on this path is hard at times - most times actually.

Here's one thing I know... I want to give God all the glory with every chapter He allows me to be in. I want to greet each character He writes in with the love He's shown me. Trusting Him when a plot twist shakes me to my core. Believing He is writing my story indeed for HIS glory!

My desire is to allow Him to be not only the author but the main character AND the hero!

Almost 48 chapters into this story and I can tell... the best is yet to come!

"I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Means"

Our family has phrases and lines we use often. Some are from movies, some are from life experiences. For instance, when the boys were younger we went through Jack's drive-thru, I believe it was after karate one night. We didn't go to Jack's often so it was probably for a special occasion milk shake. We sat and sat, the famous muffled speaker didn't make a sound. Jeff says

"Hello?"

A very disgruntled employee replies "You gon hafta wait a minute".

"No, no we don't actually" Jeff chuckled as we drove off. Of course he didn't tell them that and we are fully compassionate to someone having a hard day so don't come at me and miss what I'm say'n here... haha We have laughed about that for years and used the line many times when it applies and sometimes when it doesn't :)

There's one line that I've found we use often but it actually means so much more than these 2 words.

Be Careful

We were watching our feisty 3 year old grand Princess last week. We had baked cookies and we were going to share with a friend. I was telling Papi that we would be back in a minute, she pipes up and says "and we'll be careful ok". It made my heart smile because, she had obviously heard those words many times but does she fully know what they mean?

This has sat on my heart as I've come and gone in life's many tasks and adventures this last week. Each time I hear those words from friends and loved ones, I stop and think of all they are REALLY saying...

Stay alert
Don't take any chances
Watch out for distracted drivers
Don't text and drive
Obey traffic laws
Consider the cost
Let me know when you make it there safely

I love you
You're important to me
I want to see you again
I'm aware of all of the possibilities and I'm trusting you to care for you like I do
Thank you for being in my life

But it comes out in 2 words

Be Careful.

It's safe to say these words carry over into all aspects of our lives, not JUST driving.
We know accidents are going to happen, "life" is going to happen, being careful doesn't eliminate all booboos and ouches I totally get that.. but can I just say...

Be Careful.

You are loved.
You are cherished.
You are important.

Be Careful.

Duality

Death and life seem to find their way in my heart at the same time. It seems God orchestrates these polar opposites to co-exist as a reminder of the circle of life. This has occured with human life and death but also with seasons and sometimes... plants. God uses anything and everything to speak to us! Yesterday He spoke through an aloe plant. Well, not literally of course although that would be AMAZING! Instead of the burning bush it could have been "The Amazing Aloe"! I digress, ok, the story of the aloe plant...

Once upon a time there was a girl in need of an aloe plant. She sent out an SOS to friends and BOOM! Aloe plant!

Oh geesh, I can't keep up that story telling throughout this... k, a couple of years ago I needed aloe, a friend provided. She prayed over the situation and even the aloe that it would bring healing! It was used and loved and then died.

I killed it.

Or so I thought...

After seeing it brown and dead for quite some time I decided to toss it so I could use the pot it was in. There was a part of me that couldn't stand to throw it in the trash so I just tossed it to the side of the yard.

Quite some time later, months later... the hubs came in and declared "Joy, I think that aloe wants to live. I put it in some dirt"
We were amazed and amused! This aloe with bare roots not only came back to life but had new growth!!! We bought some cactus soil and that was that.

Or so I thought...

I go outside one day to find my miracle aloe had BABIES!!! Y'all, it was so fun! It was then I realized once again that I may need a life haha No seriously, I had so much fun watching these lil pups grow. Gave my niece one and through the summer they got so big they were squeezing out of the pot. I kept saying "I need to split those" over and over until well... It's mid January now :)

A couple of weeks ago I bought some cactus soil with the intent of splitting the Aloe plant to allow it to grow even more babies. Between life, weather and my professional procrastination it didn't get done until... yesterday. What better day to split an aloe plant than a day we are expecting tornadoes right?! I hurried as the wind started picking up, certain I could beat the rain. I did! To my surprise as I separated the babies there were 14... yes FOURTEEN!!!! Say wha???

Here's what God was speaking to my heart "Death brings life".

His death (Jesus) brought life.

More often than not when a loved one in my life has died, God has brought new life!!!

The storal of the mory is this...

When you experience a death of any kind... life, a dream, a marriage, friendships... any death. HOLD ON TO HOPE!!!

Death brings life!

It hurts, grieve it! New life is amazing and beautiful, embrace and enjoy it!

Duality

It's not either or, it's BOTH!

A Granny

Most people at some point in their life have been asked the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?". Many of us are still trying to figure that out. In this season of empty nest I've given it a lot of thought.

Some people get their mind/heart set on one career path as a child and it stays there. They just KNOW what they want to do and they do it! Kudos to those annoying, overachievers.

Most of society it seems, bounces around like a warped bouncy ball trying to find where we fit. How do our likes, dislikes, personality, talents... all of that - fit into making a living in order to EAT? :)

The first half of my adult life was laid out for me. I was a wife and a mom. Not just a mom but a homeschool mom. Secretary for Thomas Inc. Dabbled in pretty much every career without being a "professional".

Wouldn't.
Change.
A.
Thing.

Thoroughly enjoyed those years and they FLEW by way too fast! There is a part of me however that wonders if I would have had a career path and edumacated, would I have more direction now??? That wasn't my life, I'll never know so I ain't dwell'n on that...
And we're walking...

What is my answer now when someone inevitably crosses that line and says "so what do you do?". Well, first of all Susan, I survive. Thank you. BUT... other than that, I'm a wife/mom/GrandLady!

As I was thinking about this, my mind wondered back to a Texas restaurant - Grandy's

Grandy's had the best fried chicken livers other than my mom's. My dad was very fond of Grandy's so we went as often as the wallet would allow which wasn't a ton but it was enough for me to be influenced by "Granny". At every Grandy's they had a "Granny" who would welcome you, walk around the restaurant clearing things, talking, filling drinks etc. I remember thinking "I want that job when I grow up".

You see where I'm going here... I've hit my goal!!! I'm a GranLady AKA "Granny"!!! Imma perfect my fried livers and get a soda fountain :)

Every place of business should have a "Granny". I think it would enhance businesses in general.

But... what do I know? I'm just a GrandLady ;)

Play Time

When I was growing up - back in the dark ages - we didn't have all this newfangled stuff to play with. Listen, I warned errbody way back when I first blogged that I ain't got no good grammar so don't come on up in hea and tell me I'm Southern mixed with some kind of gangsta. To be honest, It's hard for me not to type out how I would talk. I'm pretty sure that's why I have like 3 subscribers, I'm ok with that! This is mainly to log memories and just have fun.

Brings me back to... what was your favorite toy growing up??? I was born in 1975 so I'm telling the truf, we really didn't have all the tech stuff that's here today. We didn't really have a lot of toys.
We had a barn with animals, a farmer, wagon, silo and fence. I remember playing with that the most.
Outside was definitely my favorite. Riding my bike and just singing at the top of my lungs. Our neighbors surely thought I was a wild child. Well, other than the one who shot out our car window. Maybe a story for another time...

Our little trailer park probably wasn't the safest place in our town so mom and dad did well by not letting us go play in the neighborhood. Even still, I wore a path in front of our trailer riding back and forth acting like I was on my way somewhere important.

People say that as adults it's important to play. That sounds fun right?

For me, playing is using my creativity. Painting, crochet, making jewelry... I'm aware this is not the definition of "playing" to a lot of people.

Today I set out to play and have fun at some point. Wasn't sure what that looked like but I really had the best intentions. Came bedtime and I had only "adulted", nothing I would classify as "play time".

As I was winding down and getting ready for bed I saw the girls' charms that I'd been holding on to since February. I decided on Lillian's first Valentine's Day to get her a new charm for a bracelet every year. Hopefully something that speaks to that year. My challenge is - what to do for a boy now??? This year has been a bit nuts and even though I bought the charms in February I had not been able to put them on the bracelets. I pulled everything out and began to put them together. A gummy bear for LilyBell and a honey bee for Jubi! I write them a little note each year. Not sure when I'll give them to them. Seems like they would like it at 10 but probably appreciate it more at 18. We'll see how life goes :)

While doing this "task" it hit me... I'm playing, this is absolutely FUN to me!!!

Here's my point, as we get older our play time may look a little different. Although, my DIL did find a vintage barn that is exactly like the one I had as a child. She gave it to me for my birthday so I actually DO get to PLAY with the grands!!!!!

Go on... find time to PLAY!!!!!

Stay In Your Lane

Have you ever been side swiped?

Driving along, minding your own business and BAM! Someone comes out of nowhere into your lane and takes the side of your car with them. Or, maybe YOU sideswiped someone else? What was going down in your brain? Going too fast, maybe didn't see them at all? Maybe you were trying to avoid something in the road???

Whatever the case was it never ends well when we don't stay in our own lane.

The story behind the title:
Returning home from Whole Foods, I pass the area where the boys were in a car accident about 8 years ago. I usually take a second and reflect on that event. Very thankful it wasn't any worse. Our car was totaled but the boys were ok. A lady pulled out in front of/into them. This particular day I was thanking God just for life in general and carried on. I pulled up to the light in the right turn lane but we were turning left. The SUV beside me decided he/she was the only one on the road and turned wide into my lane like I wasn't there. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure they just flat out didn't see me. They had a HUGE vehicle and mine is small. That being said...

If you stay in your lane when you turn, um... it's actually an illegal turn when you turn wide into the other lane. Ask my boys how they know this LOL

Honking my horn is one of my LEAST favorite things to do and only happens in situations like this but rest assured I HONKED my horn. Thankfully between them correcting and me slamming on my breaks we avoided an accident.

As I was reflecting on this near accident the rest of the way home, I was convicted.

Stay in your lane Joy

In life, we often refer to staying out of other people's business as "stay in your own lane". Or when we take on more than we should "stay in your own lane"

Admitedly, it takes effort. Intentionality. Here's a challenge for me... what is my lane??? So many good anaolgies with this thought! One I hadn't considered was how by not staying in our own lane we could be pushing someone else OUT of their lane. Even to the point of causing chaos, backing up traffic, metaphorically speaking.

Here's my challange - to myself but if you would like to jump in, feel free :)

Find your lane.
Beware of distractions.
Stay focused on where you are going
Pay attention on sharp turns.
If by chance you need to change lanes, BLINKER PEOPLE!!!!!
Enjoy the ride.

Mess Bird

Strong storms can do some damage BUT they can also set in motion a new beginning. A few months ago we had high winds that blew a bird’s nest out of a large tree in our front yard. It landed on my car like it was meant to be there. This small seemingly meaningless event sent my emotions reeling. We are all aware this doesn’t take much but still… here we were. I took a picture and my thoughts began to swirl. Poor birds! Here they are with an empty nest and BAM it gets blown out of the tree. Their home, everything they knew, gone. Obviously I was emotionally attached at this point. I didn’t want to disturb it so my husband being who he is carefully picked it up and placed it in a small crepe myrtle tree. It left a mess on my car and in true fashion I didn’t wash it off for well… until the next time it rained 😂

My granddaughter Lillian noticed the mess on my car. I told her about the bird’s nest that was blown out of the tree and made a mess on GrandLady’s car. With motions I showed her how Papi carefully scooped up the nest and placed it in another tree so maybe the birds could still use it. Sweet girl listened so intently! From that time until now she has repeated the story in detail - with motions - and is constantly wanting to see the “mess bird” on my phone. I gladly show it to her and we recount the story in detail.

This year God has given me a new word every day. It has been my lifeline! I seek Him for it! Through prayer, worship music, friends… etc. He has spoken as He does - mysteriously.

My word today - Empty
I cried.
Yes Father I’m empty.
My nest.
My heart.
My soul.
Empty.

He says well, I’m building a “mess bird”.
Just when you think you’re used up and empty, tossed every which way by the wind; I’m going to fill you and give you a story - a new one!
Through this I’m learning many things.
* Storms come and go.
* He controls the winds and all that is In it.
* He says "How I use you is in my hands - I’m your creator, trust me"
* Listen to the sweet child voices - they are full of wisdom from the Father!
* Empty means the refilling is about to happen!

Exhale

By definition, exhale means "to breathe out". This would imply that one has been holding their breath.

Ever been there? Ever held your breath until you hear someone say "BREATHE!"

I have.

To exhale is just as important as breathing in deeply. If you don't exhale all of the air then breathing deeply is just about impossible. Sir google says it best "The main reason for exhalation is to rid the body of carbon dioxide, which is the waste product of gas exchange in humans". Whoa! That'll preach!

Have you watched someone - a mom typically - on the sidelines as their child is taking the game winning shot. After the shot whether they score or not, you see a long e x h a l e. Holding ones breath is a sign of anticipation/anxiety. The term "I'm holding my breath" says that someone is anxious about the outcome.

Exhale.

Go ahead.

Just let it out! There's peace in knowing we don't have to hold our breath. We know Who is in control and no matter what happens here on this fleeting earth, He's holding each deep breath and each exhale!

One of my favorite songs (there are many, trust me!)

Exhale by Plumb

Just let go
Let His love wrap around you
And hold you close
Get lost in the surrender
Breathe it in until your heart breaks
Then exhale
Exhale

Hobbies - Who needs em anyway!

When I was around 8 years old, it seemed EVERYONE around me had a "hobby" except ME!

Thus the story has gone for the rest of my life. Now, is there any truth to this feeling? Well, not exactly because I've had hobbies. They just haven't been consistent so then I get in this "I need a hobby" state of mind. When in reality, I have hobbies I CAN do, just doing them is another story.

At the age of 9 I finally taught myself how to crochet. There was a loner crocheted slipper in my mom's drawer that my DAD crocheted... yeah, I never knew the story behind that one but I had friends who crocheted and it looked fun so I did it! AND... it wasn't sewing. My sister sewed so I could never do that of course :) I finally learned something other than the chain stitch so potholders and THICK doilies were crocheted by the hundreds! It wasn't until I was an adult (ish - I was married anyway...) and an elderly lady in our church taught me how to read patterns. Oh man, a whole new world opened up. Jeff's aunt gave me a ton of old pattern books from a subscription she had (I still have them, so fun to look at the way things have changed over the decades). I quickly found that selling these items did not make me any money. Making gifts was fun but handmade things tend to only be special to the one who made them - there's a song in there somewhere.

Through the years, I learned that I'm a creative. I've never taken the time to get past the amateur stage of any of my short lived hobbies. Sketching, painting, singing, crafting, decorating, refinishing, musical instruments, writing, hiking, running... they've all had their famous 15 minutes of fame in my life! Crocheting has been the one thing that I will pick up every so often and do a few projects. I have a Pinterest board FULL of inspiration that will more than likely never get done. As I type, there is an unfinished pumpkin hat for our newest little pumpkin staring at me. Now, it's Christmas time... so...

Hobbies can be a great breather OR they can be a great stresser. The actual definition is a regular activity that is done for enjoyment during ones leisure time. That would summize that if it's a stresser, it's not a hobby, it's a job haha

To answer the question in the title - Me! I need hobbies, I think it allows my brain to recharge and get rid of some of the cobwebs. Who knows... maybe you need one too! If you have one, what is it and how does it fit into your life?

They Call You What???

What's in a name? Have you ever given much thought to your name or your parent's names? I've always loved my name but I've had friends who not only hate their name, they change it. They say it doesn't fit. Very rarely do I meet someone and say "you just don't look like a Bob". Seems like somehow, we miraculously end up fitting our name. My full name is Rebekah Joy. My mom wanted to call me Joy. There was one period of time right before I got married, I decided to go by Rebekah. I started a new job and they asked me "what do you want to be called?" I thought "ooohhh a chance for a different name, new start... I'll change my FULL name!" Most people at that time knew me as Joy Corbin. While working there, I became Rebekah Thomas. My sister at one point called (no cell phones then haha) and asked for Joy Corbin, they told her no one by that name worked there. I learned something very important - somehow, there is part of your identity wrapped up in your name. This may be old news to many of you but for me I really didn't think it mattered what I was called. After that, I've always told people up front "I go by Joy". It's part of who I am... literally haha Recently this topic came up in conversation with a friend. I mentioned my aunt Bonnie was actually named Nellie Ruth and my aunt Nell was actually named Bonnie Nell. My dad had 12 siblings so we always joked that my Mawmaw just ran out of names and started using initials. My uncle JL was call Bo and my Uncle F.B. was called Buck. To this day we don't know if there were actually names with the initials. My dad only had a first name. Why is all of this coming up??? Well, I'm a new grandma and the first thing people say here in the south is "what is your grandmother name?"
Say What?
I've always been "Joy", I've never had to PICK a name... who makes these things up??? So, how hard can it be right??? I mean, just pick a name. Ha, are you kidding??? Most people have this cute lil name that just FITS them. We've called My sister Cindy Lou all her life so her Grandma name is "Lou Lou". Another friend is Kristie so she's "KK".
Me???
No one could pick one. Not me, not the kids... just couldn't find one that fit. One day Micah tells Lily "go to your Grand... person... Lady...
And there it was "GrandLady"
GrandLady stuck. There was something about it that made me feel unique, different, elegant even. I've had some funny responses for sure! One friend said "It sounds so elegant... and you're not" HAHA I totally get that but maybe that's why I like it. It's like this call to royalty. My kids have been calling me GrandLady, knowing our sweet Lily would probably not be able to say GrandLady. What is she calling me???
YeYe
Ya know what... I'm here for it!

We had a sweet precious lil grand number 3 born last week!!! She is AMAZING of course!!!!! What is her name???
Jubilee Ada!!!!
What a sweet declaration of God's love!!!
This sweet little one is "adorned" with "celebration of Joy"!!!!!
She is so loved!!!!

What is in a name??? To me, it is so much more than what you are called. It holds a piece of who you are. SO MANY Biblical accounts of God changing a persons name because they were no longer who they once were. Look at all of the names associated with GOD!!!! So powerful!!!!
Years ago we had a pastor who would greet me with this question every time he would see me "are you living up to your name?"
It really made me think...

What about you? What does your name mean and are you living up to it? Ya know, it's ok to change it... if God did it then I think you're ok :)

I Challenge... Me!

Years ago I did a daily blog challenge for the month of October. It was hard, way harder than I thought it would be but I enjoyed it. Lately, I've found myself with blog topics popping up in my mind. Just like Halloween candy, POOF they're gone. So I'm challenging myself. "Self" I said "you need to log these topics in your phone with bullet points so when you have time to sit, you'll actually remember them". "What a good idea" I replied. We had a longer conversation but both of us didn't think it was wise to put that out there :)

Right now at this point in life a daily blog would just make me pull my hair out and would NOT be a FUN challenge at all. Once a week though I feel is attainable. Possibly. I'm not sure how long I want to make this challenge??? Let's start with to the end of the year and just see how that goes. Maybe on Sundays??? I dont' know, we'll see.

P.S.
Still no BT3 (Baby Thomas 3)

Rain? Yep.

Who goes and washes their car in the rain? That would be me!

That makes me sound like the type of person who actually washes her car on a regular basis. No, that is not me but... I know a guy :) Ya see, we have a baby due. I mean, WE as in my son and daughter-in-law have a baby due. Past due actually. She is proving to be stubborn like her sister and not hurry out to meet us. We are nice people huny I promise, just a lil crazy but you'll find a lil crazy will help you survive in this world.

Focus.

Secretly, I was hoping the act of washing my car in the rain would bring some kind of juju that made this baby pop out and join us. It had NOTHING to do with the fact I was driving friends to have coffee and my car looked like a storage unit for infants and elderly. My friends would not care that my car was filthy but I cared. That had been on my list of "ta-dos" for quite some time. My GrandLady life has been full lately and

I'm. Here. For. It.

While I was on my little car washing adventure I sent a couple of Marco Polos to some friends. It was then I realized, I may have had too much coffee. It happens occasionally, sometimes, maybe...

That caffeine was put to GREAT use! The car is washed, vacuumed and lopsely wiped down. We had a great trip to Piper & Leaf in a clean-ish car.

And... no baby.

The moral of this Seinfeld episode of my blog - absolutely nothing. I have no moral here. Just a GrandLady desperately waiting to meet her newest grandchild...

Carry on! (stock pic from the interwebs BUT coulda been me haha)

Ready to Rock

"Ma'am, are you purchasing a bag of rocks?" I've smiled at this phrase for a month. Who buys a bag of rocks? Well, me. I bought a bag of rocks.

Let me back up... Life picked up a bit with the entrance of an amazing little grandbaby. He's beautiful and his parents are doing a phenomenal job. I've been so blessed to sit with this sweet one when mom and daddy need a nap. I woke up one morning with no plans, nowhere to go... I thought. It became so heavy on my heart to "get ready" that I couldn't shake it. Typically, if I don't have anywhere to go I can easily stay in comfy clothes and not shower all day haha. This was different, it was "get COMPLETELY ready". Like, make-up, hair, the whole 9 ya know!

So, I did.

Why? I had and still have NO CLUE! I had one chore I had been meaning to do so once I had gone through the grueling effort of straightening my floor length hair (just kidding, but it totally felt that long) I grabbed my damaged glasses and set off to the eye place to get them repaired. When I finished there, I texted sleepy daddy and asked if they needed anything. Since I knew it would take him a minute to reply I drove down to the thrift store. As I was looking around I spotted a bag of rocks. I stooped down and had this conversation with myself...

Who would donate a bag of rocks?
Well, who would think it's a good idea to sell a bag of rocks?
Yeah but WHO in their RIGHT mind would BUY a bag of rocks?

Me.

I bought a bag of rocks and I'm not even mad about it. Once my arms were so full and HEAVY with things (I refused to get a cart) I made my way up to the cash register. The guy was super nice and started entering the items telling me a story and then he stops, looks at the bag and says "Ma'am, are you purchasing a bag of rocks? If you'll just go outside to the right you can get them for free" We laughed and I expressed my appreciation to him for actually recognizing the irony of this situation and told him about the little conversation I had with myself. Because I can't just leave a moment alone, I explained to him my love of rocks and how THESE rocks were just PERFECT! A sweet lady who was working behind the counter with him spoke up and said "hold on, I HAVE to show you this... you're going to laugh" She goes over and gets her purse, unzips the front pocket and says her daughter tells her "here mommy, will you hold my rocks". The pocket was full of beautiful treasures! I immediately felt such a connection with this little girl!!! YES! EXACTLY!

There are some things in life that are explainable and some things ya just roll with... I love rocks, just roll wif it, k? k!

There was ONE annual field trip we took when I was growing up, I would BEG my mom for money - the quarry. You could purchase a bag of rocks for a $1 if I remember correctly. It was so much fun to me! Then, we would all get on the bus and exchange rocks, or not. My sweet husband has moved a duffle bag of rocks that I've collected over the years probably 20 times over our 27 years of marriage. He just shakes his head haha

So, what am I going to do with a bag of rocks? Not sure really but it sure has given me a lot of smiles :) I think I'll paint them with inspirational words and go hide them in my friend's yard haha

The storal of the mory (look up Rindercella on YouTube) Ya never know what you're getting ready for - just get ready! :)

It Broke

My spoon broke.

My wooden spoon.

It broke.

Things had been teetering for a while. Trying to balance life on a microscopic sized thread. It wasn't going well. After feeling like so much healing had taken place, God showed me that I still have raw open nasty wounds. Some healing has taken place but I'm still in the process of letting God apply that healing ointment. Sometimes, it stings. 

Today has been like so many others lately. Wake up to coffee beside my bed brought to me by my love, try to pry my eyes open and figure out what day it is and then... 

Nothing

I don't have a life. I haven't had "purpose" in quite some time and it's weighing heavy. It's been 2 years since we moved back from Florida and our life changed in so many ways it made my head spin. It's still spinning. Daily life chores seem to be my only "purpose" right now. I'm blessed to have daily chores so don't go thinking this is one big COMPLAINT. It's not. I've enjoyed the lunches, coffee dates and relationship building but...

My spoon broke.

With the break of THE spoon came a fountain of memories. This has been the "go-to" spoon for well... I've just always had it. Don't even remember where it came from. I grabbed it for something one time and noticed a big notch out of it. Walking in to the living room with it held up I asked the boys "what in the world?"  Micah replied with something about a blender. Nate's typical reply to Micah was usually "why ya gotta be like this?"    So I kept the spoon, it made me smile. Made me remember. Not sure at what point it earned the big scorch mark but again, it added character. I noticed lately, it seemed to be getting old "I feel ya spoon, I feel ya". Then today while stirring some washcloths that were soaking in bleach...

It broke.

All of it. Including the little tiny thread that I've been trying to balance life on, it broke. 

It's done. My mommy life is done. I'm not ready for it to be done. They don't need me any more but I still need them.  I'm still learning how to be a mom, how did 25 years go by and I'm still trying to figure it out? 

Life is a series of changes, seasons. It's the "what now?" that gets me. So here I sit, waiting for direction. Trusting it will eventually come. 

Meanwhile, I have to go buy another spoon.

Surviving Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

Time has passed me by and even though there have been many things I would love to log and share, I haven't. Why? Clarity of thought, time, fear... they are all correct.  Life has a way of clarifying some things and at the same time, creating muddy water from what once seemed to be clean and healthy water.

When I began to emerge from the "mostly dead" state I had been in for almost 2 weeks, it was very pressing that I log this for those who are seeking information on this disease. The hero in this story is Jeff... don't for one second think otherwise!!!! 

May 29th I woke up with my bed shaking. I was literally shaking to the point I could barely walk to the bathroom. Getting toilet paper was quite the task. I made it back to bed and somehow managed to swallow 2 Tylenol thinking I had come down with something and had a fever.  Forcing myself on my stomach and trying to control the shake I waited for the Tylenol to kick in.  Then, I was still. Eerily still. My back was killing me and I was extremely nauseous... then I felt like I was going to pass out. This always scares me, I've had a few episodes of passing out and I'm not a fan. If anyone is, I have a good counselor for you.  As I was telling Jeff I was going to pass out, I threw up. Not just the "oops I threw up" it was more like old faithful, it just kept coming. If I hadn't been so lethargic I would have been scared. That set the theme for the next 2 weeks. 

Instead of being on the road to Macon, Georgia where we were to meet our good friends for Memorial Day week end, we found ourselves at the walk in clinic. I've been sick a few times in my life. A few hundred maybe. This one was different. Jeff signed me in and I did my best to answer questions. My lower left back was hurting so bad, this was where labor breathing exercises came in handy. 45 year old grandma and I'm in a room hee hee haw haw-ing.  After an examination, I managed to tell the doctor a few "weird" things going on so she ordered lab work and a urine sample.  I had found a tick in my hair about a week ago but I honestly didn't think that was the problem.  They did thorough lab work, COVID-19 test included. After an hour or 2 they found I did have a UTI so thought it could be a kidney infection but sent cultures off for Lyme and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever(RMSF) "just in case." They gave me a VERY painful antibiotic shot in the same side that was hurting so much, they could have shared the love to the other side but no...  Sent me home with a prescription for amoxicillin. I'm not an antibiotic person but at that point, I really had no choice. I knew I was pretty sick and I was pretty sure amoxicillin wasn't going to help.  The doctor said to come back in 3 days for follow-up if I wasn't any better.  I was NOT any better, I was increasingly worse with every day.  My fever would get to 101 and I would shoot into shock pretty much. Shaking, nausea, everything that comes with fever. The pain was unbearable.  We ended up having to rotate ibuprofen and tylenol every 2 hours just to keep me from having fever episodes. On Monday, spots began to show. They felt like bruises and they were in random places. By Wednesday, we figured they would send us to the ER and we were right.  We made our way to Crestwood Emergency room. They did another lab set complete with COVID-19 test and Lyme culture.  At that point they actually were suspecting Lyme or RMSF but the cultures from Urgent Care had not come back because not only did we catch them on the week end, it was Memorial Day as well.  We left the ER with another antibiotic prescription and no answers.  This is where I need to back the memory train up a bit...

When I was a teen, one of the 2 doctors I went to in my life was a dermatologist for my extreme acne. They had prescribed Tetracycline. When I went back a couple of weeks later, I mentioned to the doctor that I had been having trouble swallowing and I thought maybe I was coming down with a cold or something.  He told me I was having an allergic reaction and that I should stay away from all pharmaceutical drugs "cycline."  So for well over 30 years now, I've told every doctor (trust me that's a LOT of peeps!) that I'm allergic to Tetracycline. 

Back to current story... Doxycycline happens to be the only drug that kills RMSF or to be more scientifically specific - rickettsia group bacteria.  But when I had on my file "allergic to Tetracycline". They wouldn't give it to me without a positive culture but the culture had to be sent to Egypt so we didn't have it.  

Sick. I was so sick, it was survival mode. I couldn't walk by myself, couldn't bathe myself, brush my own teeth. There was no sleep, barely eating... and then Friday, almost a week after first onset, I woke up and could barely talk, by that point I was covered in 3 different types of spots. I was so exhausted, I just looked at Jeffrey and he knew we had to go back to the ER. How he managed to get me from point A to point B is beyond me. I remember wheelchairs and eyes opening occasionally... it's blurry but there.  Once again, the ER gave me a shot, another prescription and sent me home and there was nothing they could do until we see the infectious disease doctor, which wasn't until Wednesday.  I had a fleeting moment in the ER with tears rolling down my cheeks thinking "I won't be alive by Wednesday to see the infectious disease doctor."  Here's where I need to wax sappy and a little bit spiritual. I caught a glimpse of my blue eyed Peruvian and thought "he's fought so hard for me."  In my head I had been quoting Psalm 23 "He restoreth my soul."  Somehow a fight welled up in me. This may sound over dramatic but rest assured... there's no over exaggerating here.  When we got home, I knew it was survival, get to Wednesday.  Up until that point I was stressing over taking to much OTC meds, asking Jeff to do EVERYTHING... the kids... etc.  When we got home from the ER on Friday, my brain kicked into survival mode. I made a list of anti inflammatory foods and supplements for Jeffrey to go get. What little I knew about Lyme and RMSF was inflammation from the bacteria was a big play in the pain. We started keeping a list of meds. At night I set my alarm to take med every 2 hours to keep from going into a fever fit.  It was battle time! I mean, I couldn't stand up by myself but my brain was still working... kind of.  

Monday my fever wasn't spiking to 101 any more. It was staying at 99 which is still high for me, my norm is 96.  Miraculously, we made it to Wednesday! Jeff's work had allowed him to work from home which was a HUGE blessing!!!  My appointment was at 8:45. This non-morning person didn't even care. I just needed relief. The Dr. came in and was very thoughtful and thorough but assessed fairly quickly that it was RMSF. At that point we had received the first culture back and it was negative.  She said that was common and she was not diagnosing on the test, I had every other clinical symptom. We discussed the danger of me taking Doxycyline and she strongly believed that what I had as a teen was an adverse affect to Tetracycline and that it was very much worth taking the Doxycycline under observation. It was the only med choice we had. I was admittedly nervous but the desperation of relief outweighed any fear of allergic reaction.  Jeff went and picked up the doxycyline and I waited there at the clinic. I took the first dose and waited...

We walked (he walked I shuffled) out of there an hour later with hope that this thing might be on it's way out.  They ordered another RMSF culture, just to check so we went to the lab to have that drawn. I'm so thankful for wheelchairs!!!!  

Thursday, I had 2 doses in me and by the afternoon I was able to walk a bit by myself. Thursday night I actually vacuumed. I didn't feel "human" until Sunday.  It had began reversing, with the disease, every day I woke up worse. Once I started taking the antibiotic, every day I woke up a little better!!!  I did all that I could do to keep the side effects from the antibiotic at a minimum but I was SO willing to put up with some side effects if it meant getting this disease out of my system.  

Monday, June 14th. I was sitting here with a very thankful attitude!!!!! Overwhelmingly grateful to be on the other side of this! My phone rang and the caller ID showed it was the health department. She says "we are in connection with the CDC." At that point, I assumed my culture had come back positive and I was even MORE grateful.  RMSF is best if caught early and treated.  For it to go almost 2 weeks could have been so much worse. Many things went into play for this to be diagnosed and for me to be able to take the medicine that killed the bacteria.  

On this side of it looking back... we both wish they would have admitted me when I went to the ER which would have forced an infectious doctor to take a look at me.  Other than that, I'm just grateful!!!  

One of my favorite quotes "you've been mostly dead all day" turned into "you've been mostly dead for two weeks."

Overall  what did we learn? 
Just stay inside - the end.
Ha partially joking :)  
* At first thought of Lyme OR RMSF - TAKE DOXYCYCLINE!!!!!
You can build your system back after you've killed the bacteria! There is a time for antibiotics and this is one of them! 
* Eat AIP (Autoimmune Protocol) It's a challenge but I definitely feel like this is what kept me from dying! 
* Don't be allergic to Doxycycline :) 

I want to document this for a couple of reasons, my memory is horrible and also for those who have RMSF and are looking for information.  There was not a ton of helpful info of what to do. Just scary stuff saying "you're gonna die".  From what I understand the "spots" on each person can look different so I'm posting MY spots as a reference.

Delayed story telling!!!

As I was visiting with a friend this morning, I was sharing this story that happened back in June. It hit me that I never published it. I had written it out as not to forget the details and I'm so glad I did because today when I was retelling the story, I couldn't remember her name OR where she was from. Age, it's a real thing! LOL 

I can't begin to tell you I understand all the unfoldings of this last year but this little memory warms my heart!!!!!  We continue the processing... one day (sometimes minute) at a time. 

*****************************************************************************

Have you ever headed to accomplish a task and then with one single interaction you realize... it's not about your task? 

For the past 5 months I've missed photography. It had just become part of me, I love everything about freezing time! So you can imagine my excitement when a young man (just happens to be the age of my oldest man-child) approached me and said "I heard you were a photographer, would you take some pictures of me proposing to my girlfriend?"  Say wha???  Well, of course I will young man... just let me finish this box of tissues here and I'll get right on that. With my son just getting married and being away from them this was just about too much for this mama heart. All in a good way of course! I'm ecstatic but nervous! As much as I love taking pictures, I've never photographed a proposal EEeeekkk!  True to form, I start overthinking EVERYTHING - ALL. THE. THINGS.  Because, that's what I do, I truly don't have a reason :)  

My ever loving husband (25 yrs this month YAY!) went with me to the park so I could see if the lens I have will work for this particular setting.  Beautiful park!!! We find the area he was talking about so we start discussing options. I had Jeff walk to the other side and sit on the bench so I could see if it was too far.  I see a bush with a bench close to it in the distance so I take a few shots and start walking down the sidewalk. I see an elderly lady sitting peacefully, thoughtfully looking out at the fountain in the pond. I get close and politely say "excuse me for  getting in the way, I'm just going to take a shot real quick to see if it will work". 

She says "oh, no problem! I'm a artist, can I see the shot?"  

As I explained what I was doing and was showing her the shot, she said "oh, that's so sweet!"  

At that point I motioned to Jeff to come on around. 

I said "that's my husband, we've been married 25 yrs this month" (can you tell I'm proud of that haha)

With a sweet expression she says "oh that's precious, are things still going well?!" 

Taking that question in, I said "ya know, they really are!!! I'm blessed and can't complain"

She very emphatically says "God has to be center"

Taken back just a little I said "yes ma'am, I can honestly say there's no way without Him!"

She then asked if we went to a specific church here. What was so interesting was, we visited this church and REALLY liked it! We've been praying about a church... well, just praying about life in general to be honest but church has been up there on the list! 

About that time Jeff reached us and I introduced him to my new friend who up until that point was nameless to me.  She introduced herself as Lilly! Sweet 87 yr old Lilly! I sat down in the middle of the bench facing her as much as I could. I felt Jeff sit behind me at the end of the bench. He knows me well <3 To give every detail of this conversation would be simply impossible. It truly went EVERYWHERE! Sweet Lilly is from Austria but has been here in our beautiful country longer than we have :)  She married in Austria at 18 and her husband sent her to the states and he followed in early 50s.  From our conversation we found out she was a poet and an artist. She had a gallery in Manhattan but has lived here for 23 yrs. She lovingly said "I've lived here a complete life time"

I said "yes ma'am, that's how old this young man is who is getting engaged"

We shared stories with each other.

We soaked in the wisdom.

We saw God.

I asked "so did you get saved at a young age?"

She replied with LOVE in her eyes "oh no, I was about 30"

She continued to share every detail of coming to Christ and with tears in her eyes she said "I felt God's overwhelming love. You can't beat it. Man tries but they just can't"

I believed her.

As we stood to leave she said "there comes my Hungarian, he's number 2" LOL

She had told us earlier that her first husband who ended up being a minister, passed away. Apparently he just couldn't keep up with her. Wish I could have photographed the twinkle in her eye!

She grabbed my hand with both of hers and prayed. Not a frilly prayer, a prayer full of the Holy Spirit's guiding. A prayer that touched not only my heart but undoubtedly the heart of God! 

We talked with the "Hungarian" for a few minutes and then we said our goodbyes. I reached down and gave her a hug and expressed to her how much of an encouragement she had been to my heart. She held on to me and prayed... again... I didn't want to leave.  

We did.

In silence we walked hand in hand, each knowing we experienced a special God appointment. It was quite a bit before either of us broke the silence and of course it was me who said the first word through a few tears. 

Did God speak specifics, well no. 

Did he encourage our hearts, um... that'd be a yes!

We held hands pretty much the rest of the evening. We've had a few of those experiences in our 25 years of marriage. What does it mean?  

Well, I haven't the foggiest idear other than... keep listening. He's there! 

One day at a time!

Meet my friend Lilly! <3 

Take a step... the fog is clearing!!!

Don't you hate driving through thick fog???  It gives me more anxiety than fingernails on a chalkboard, and that is saying A TON!!!  We lived on a "mountain" here in the Huntsville area for about 6 years. It was terribly foggy because the Tennessee river was just at the foot of the large hill :)  (to be honest, I don't know for a fact that is the reason it was foggy... could have just been the elevation, I'm just assuming...)  I digress...  man, that ADD is a booger LOL

And... we're back on track... 

Even having driven that SAME road a thousand times, knowing EVERY road mark and every turn... I would get so nervous to drive in the fog. Why? Because the fog hides things, mainly CARS :)  When you can't see in front of you, you have no idea if there is a car there and how fast it is or isn't going.  It feels like you are driving a lethal weapon with a blindfold tied tightly around your eyes! I'm not a fan!

On the other hand, I LOVE looking at the fog!!! It's beautiful and mysterious IF I'm sitting still, staring at it from the comfort of my home! God designed the most gorgeous foggy day for my son's wedding and it was breathtakingly beautiful - while we were looking at it. Being still... not driving!!!

This morning I got up and my sweet coffee-bringing husband softly says "it's foggy out". It immediately made my head spin. Feeling as though the weather had caught up with me. Somehow I feel like I've been "driving" in the fog for quite a while. Just moving forward blindly! Praying for whatever is in my way because... I can't see a darn thing!!!  As I sip on my coffee and try to wipe the sleep from my eyes, God began to speak to my soul "trust me, I can see!".

Yes God, I KNOW this, I've reassured many people of this MANY times, but I don't FEEL this truth!  Here's where faith takes over. Faith has to drive. Corrie ten Boom said, "Faith is the radar that shines through the fog".

Faith over Feeling

This journey once again looks nothing like we thought it would. We find ourselves in unknown territory, driving through the fog.  I know we're not alone...

Ok my friends, we can do this!!!  Let faith take over, take that next step because...

The.
Fog.
Will.
Clear.

But for now, just for this moment, maybe God wants you to sit and breathe. Take a minute and let the fog lift.
If it doesn't then go ahead and step forward, slowly :)